My Halloween Costume

We went to boo at the zoo last week with some friends - Em, Ben & Maddie and Mr. and Mrs. Chesapeake and Savannah. I forgot my camera so I don't have any pictures and even though everyone promised they would send me copies of their pictures, I've got nothing so far. Anyhow, the kids were cute, and you'll just have to take my word for it until someone feels guilty enough to share the pictures with me. I digress.

On our way to the zoo, Evie asked me why I wasn't wearing a costume. I said, "Oh, I am wearing my costume." They looked confused. I said, "I'm dressed up as a Mommy!" I thought to myself how brilliant I was to come up with a perfect costume that didn't require me to actually dress up in anything other than what I was wearing. They looked at me in doubt and said, "You can't be a Mommy for Halloween! You already are a Mommy!" I said, "Yes, I can. I dressed up as a Mommy!" They still looked a little doubtful, but I was still congratulating myself on my genius when a look of dawning realization appeared on Luke's face and he said, "Oh! I know! You dressed up like a Mommy who stays at home!" My face contorted with disbelief and I slumped in defeat. It was funny but a little bitter. I had no idea that he was aware that there was any other kind of Mommy besides a Mommy who goes to work everyday. I guess he's more grown up than I realized, and my heart twinged just a touch at the idea that he might prefer having a mommy that stays at home as opposed to the professional mother he actually has.

So, this year, I'm dressing up as a Mommy who stays at home. I guess that's not a bad costume. After all, Luke is dressing up as an astronaut - what he aspires to be - a noble profession to be sure. I certainly admire the stay at home mommy, so I will be honored this year to pretend that I am a stay at home mommy.

We moms are all the same.

It amazes me that I can become so consumed with a child that I don't know, I've never met, and will likely never meet, but I am . . . completely. If you've been following my blog, you'll notice two recent posts about a boy named Stellan, whose mother is an avid blogger. To learn more about him, click the button to the right that says "Praying for Stellan." I've thought about him almost constantly for twenty-four hours, wondering, How is he? Is he comfortable? Have they gotten any new blood tests? How tired are his parents? How scared are his siblings? The questions mount and circle round and round in my head. I even find myself tempted to subscribe to Twitter (a form of communication that I've resisted) just so I can get the most up to date information from his mother.

We moms are all the same - living with our hearts outside our bodies. Watching our children grow and learn. Sharing their joy and their pain. Our hearts fill with happiness when they laugh with pure joy, and our hearts wrench with pain when we know they are hurting. We are all the same. And the thing is, that we moms feel each other's pain -- literally, my heart aches for MckMama and her family. I don't know what she is experiencing, but I know how much I love my children and how devastating it is just to consider one of my children being that sick and not being able to help him/her except through prayer. So, for all of you moms out there - working moms, stay-at-home moms, or any other kind of mom - my thoughts and prayers will be with you all - praying that you and your children are strong, healthy, happy and loving one another. Bless you all.

tonight's prayers

Sorry for the bitchy post below. Not sure what got into me.

Hope you all are having a good day and lifting Stellan up in prayer (click on "Praying for Stellan" button for more info). I can't stop thinking about him and his parents and wondering how many other sick children are out there that don't have the benefit of a fabulous blogging mother. Please keep all sick children and their parents in your prayers tonight.

Lots of love to you all,
t

Working Mothers Unite

Our elementary school does not cater to professional mothers. There have been two parent meeting's / social events scheduled for 9 a.m. on a weekday. WTF? Yes, I'm a mother and yes, I work. 9 a.m. is well into my work day already. I'm so glad the stay at home moms have found a convenient time to get together and socialize. Son of a bitch. Perhaps I should sign up to be in charge of something so that I can schedule it after work hours just to piss off the stay at home moms who are making dinner at that time. Damn it. I fully appreciate stay at home moms, but can't they make some effort to accommodate those of us who have to work outside the home?

Praying for Stellan

For those of you who are not aware of McMama - one of the most prolific bloggers and one of the most read bloggers I am aware of - please take a moment to say a prayer for her son Stellan who is in the hospital. If you have more than a moment, you can click HERE to get to her blog and HERE to read Stellan's story. It is amazing and uplifting, but have some tissues handy as you will have happy and sad tears to dab away from your eyes.

Trouble again

Look at my little stinker. I believe there is a picture of me doing the same thing at this age. Love that boy!

Movie Quote 44

Lovin' life!

Lovin' the job!

Lovin' the kids!

Lovin' the hubs!

Lovin' Linz!

Lovin' all of you!

And now, for your trivial pleasure, here's Movie Quote Number 44:

Yeah, it's uh, "Bring an Obscure Relative to Work Day".

and another favorite from that movie:

Oh, hey. We're rehearsing a scene for the upcoming company play called Put That Thing Back Where It Came From Or So Help Me. It's a musical.

UPDATE: I spoke too soon - Linz just got pulled over by the cops. Poor girl. She doesn't comprehend that you get pulled over for speeding here, even though they don't enforce the speed limit in England. She got caught in a speed trap coming off the freeway. Got a ticket for 55 in a 35 - ouch. I feel so bad for her. Welcome to America, right? We have one PISSED OFF nanny on our hands.

I must say that six glasses of wine on a Monday night is almost always a bad idea. Ouch.

Miscellaneous

Anyone a fan of opera? No? I wasn't either, but last night we went to an opera event at the home of a very rich woman and listened to an amazing opera singer perform several numbers as I sat just 20 feet away from her. It was INCREDIBLE! If you ever have a chance to go to an opera, give it a chance. The talent of the performers will blow you away.

Here is this morning's picture of my little cabbage patch baby. And click HERE for a link to my cabbage patch comparison. He is absolutely adorable!!!! ( . . . if I do say so myself).


And now, Luke's latest. On the way to school this morning Luke told me about a show on TV about fifth graders. I thought a little bit and asked, "Oh, you mean, Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?" He answered, "I am not." I laughed a little. Then he asked, "When do I get to be on that show?" I'm still not sure how to answer that, but at the time I just said, "You probably won't be." Luke, "Why not?" Me, "Among other reasons, it is probably taped in California." Luke, "Why?" Me, "Because most of those shows are taped in California." Luke, "Why?" Me, "I don't know."

I hate the question, "Why?" It reminds me of how much I really don't know.

Trouble

I seriously have the most adorable children, but they are trouble! - Particularly this little one.







Halloween costumes arrived in the mail and they insisted on trying them on. Remember that Luke wants to be an astronaut when he grows up. He's very serious about it. These two recently decided to draw on the wall of our stairwell with Evie's Lipsmacker's lip gloss. The two are looking forward to repainting it.

And here is George - a man after my own heart.

Go Cowboys!

Chuck got tickets to the Cowboys game for my birthday and we are here NOW!!! Loving it!!!

Middle of the Night Emergency

It rained all night last night, but we slept through all the noise until we started hearing a disturbing rattling noise coming from our bathroom around 3 a.m. Chuck and I quickly jumped out of bed to find out what was going on, but we weren't sure where the noise was coming from. We didn't know what it was but it sounded bad. Had the air conditioner on the side of our house gone out? Was the toilet acting up? Was there a leak in the shower? Was something wrong with the electricity? The noise was coming from somewhere around the sink in our bathroom - a rattle, clink, clink, rattle, clink, rattle, rattle - no consistent rhythm. Chuck turned the water on and off, listened closely, examined the pipes under the sink and still couldn't determine the problem. The rattling and clinking continued, but did not get any louder. I began to worry that something in the wall was going to explode or had exploded. George's bed shares a wall with the sink and so I really started to worry about him. Chuck was puzzled and concerned. When he couldn't identify the problem he said, "I have no idea what could be causing this unless the water heater exploded. . . I better get down there fast!" He jumped into a pair of shorts and headed down to examine our water heater.

I sat upstairs and continued to listen to the noise while I imagined the water heater exploding and injuring Chuck. Should I get the phone so that I am prepared to dial 911? Should I move the kids to the other side of the house and alert Lindsey? Should I just start by moving George?

I heard Chuck start coming back up the stairs even though the noise was still going. My heart was racing and my adrenaline started to kick in. Chuck rushed past me, walked into the bathroom and reached up behind the sink where he turned off the electric toothbrush that was rattling in the toothbrush holder. No shit. We were in a tizzy over a toothbrush. Apparently the batteries had died and then somehow revived in the middle of the night. I've since thrown the toothbrush away.

Back to reality, damnit.

I'm back, but not happy about it. Correction - I am happy about going back to work and seeing my family, but I'm not happy about ending my vacation. I know I can't have it both ways, but it would be nice if I could.

We had a great time in Bar Harbor and Boston. Thanks to Mom and Lindsey for watching the kids for five days. I know that is exhausting in every way.

We arrived in Boston for dinner Wednesday night and ate at an Italian restaurant called Massimino's in the North side of town.




I never got any pastries - I didn't realize that was a "thing" in Boston. I'll plan on that next time.

We drove up to Bar Harbor, Maine, the next morning, and we stopped at a few towns along our way, including Portsmouth - great shopping and cute! Here's a picture.


It took us forever to get to Bar Harbor. I guess I didn't realize how far north it was until we just seemed to keep driving and driving and driving and when we still weren't there, I saw a sign for the ferry to Nova Scotia. Shit! I didn't know I was going to Canada! Luckily, we didn't actually go to Canada but we were damn close. The average temperature this time of year in Bar Harbor is about 50 to 60 degrees Fahrenheit (must make distinctions for my international readers - just my sister's family and Lindsey). It was in the low 40's when we were there. We made a trip to the L.L. Bean Outlet, which, not surprisingly, does brisk business up there.

We spent most of our trip eating and shopping, but we did get to see some sights in the Acadia National Park and when we went sailing for a couple hours on Saturday. With all that said, my favorite part was sleeping in and spending time with Chuck. What a great vacation.

Sailing in Southwest Harbor and around the Cranberry Islands

Lobster at Thurston's Lobster Pound in Bass Harbor.
Damn lobster left cuts on my fingers.
Luckily, I won that fight, and it was delish!

Acadia National Park
These waves and rocks were really big but you can't really appreciate it from this picture.

Just beautiful scenery

Driving through the park

Bass Harbor Lighthouse
(Chuck is convinced we have a picture of this in our house,
but I think they just all look the same - it's a man thing, I think)

All these pictures were taken with my iPhone. I know that we could have gotten some beautiful shots if I was (a) a better photographer or (b) using a better camera. Oh well. I was too relaxed to care.

On our way back to Boston after spending a few days in Bar Harbor and it is snowing.

Boston Baby

Just landed in Boston for a much-needed vacation with the hubby. That's right bitches! I'm drinking champagne and eating good food. War your hearts out!

Pumpkin Grinch & Movie Quote

Anyone remember my unfortunate experience last year with the Grinch Who Stole Halloween? If not, click HERE for the post. As a quick reminder, some hoodlums freakin' stole my uncarved pumpkins off my front porch - for the second year in a row. I was really pissed because I was all jacked up on Halloween spirit and ready to carve our pumpkins but when I went to fetch them off the front porch, they had been stolen. I was furious and had to go buy the last scrub pumpkins left at the store. It sucked to say the least. Well, this year, I'm taking precautions. They might steal my pumpkins again this year, but at least they will know that I was expecting it and pissed about it. As Chuck so aptly pointed out, "The thieves are still going to steal your pumpkins." Me, "Yeah, you're probably right, but I'm not backing down."



Am I dumb? Yeah, I am. I know it, Chuck knows it, you know it and the thieves know it. Oh well.
Now for a Halloween movie quote. I warn you, it is quite obscure, but I own the movie and forced Lindsey to watch it already. It's a great cheesy Halloween movie for kids.

My brother's a virgin and he lit the black flame candle.

Pumpkin Patch

Happy Siblings!

Fun trip to Houston this weekend. I was able to meet the KO crew at the pumpkin patch and take pics of all the little kiddos. It was so fun to see everyone, but we were all spread out so I missed actually getting to talk to people. We had to leave abruptly because Luke had an unfortunate incident in the porta-potty that I'm not allowed to show you (yes, I took pictures because I'm that kind of mom) or tell you about. Nonetheless, here is a cropped picture showing Luke with the most pissed off look I've ever seen. It cracks me up every time I look at it. I really wish I could post the whole thing because the picture as a whole is freakin' priceless.

Hoodlum!

Evie and Frank

Lots o' Pumpkins!

Anyway, I'm back in town now and enjoying the fall weather except for the fact that it is COLD in my house since the heater is broken and we didn't know it was broken until the heat just wouldn't turn on last night. It is all patched up now, but looks like we'll have to replace the heater for a big wad of cash. I hate those unexpected home repairs. Damn. My favorite part of the whole thing is when I was talking to Lindsey this morning about how cold it was in the house and she said, "Ugh! It's Baltic in here!" I agreed, but thought it was funny how she said it was "Baltic" and not "Arctic". That girl is priceless!

My second sweet sixteen!

Chuck really got me last night. I was planning to make my favorite turkey chili and even invited some friends over for dinner right before I headed home to get started with the cooking. I love that chili. My friend Emily agreed to come over for dinner and then backed out when she remembered that she had promised to take Maddie over to a friend's house that night - no biggie. I was almost home when Chuck called and told me he wanted to meet for a drink. Mmm. Perfect. We met at the Silver Fox, had a drink and then he told me that we were meeting Lindsey and the kids at Pappasito's for dinner. Yummy - although I told him it was a good thing Emily backed out of my chili plan since he had made other plans. We walked into the restaurant and I scanned the place for the kids, but I eventually just saw George sitting at a big long table of people and thought, "What the . . .?" Then I started to recognize a bunch of my friends (good friends) sitting at the table and wishing me Happy Birthday! That's right today is my birthday, but Chuck planned the celebration a day early. Love that man. It was themed around Cowboys Football so I got t-shirts, socks, a hat, a blanket, some chairs, a precious pink Cowboys princes mug, and irresistable Cowboys headband (not sure when or where to use that, but I'm sure I'll come up with something). It was so much fun and Chuck even surprised me with tickets to a Cowboys game in a couple weeks. What an awesome hubby!


Thanks to all you who participated in plotting the surprise! - Shout out to Emily, Mom, and Lindsey - all integral parts of the plan apparently.

Today has already been a great day - starting with the fantastic cool weather. I LOVE it! What a perfect day. Then I walked into my office (coffee in hand) to find this present awaiting me.


My swine-flu-ridden secretary was sweet enough to actually get me a gift card to my favorite store. She's fantastic!

I am so blessed to be surrounded by such wonderful friends and family. Love you all!

Oh and happy birthday to my birthday buddy and wonderful brother-in-law - Richard!

Tornado Panties

I just had to educate Lindsey regarding tornado procedures today. Apparently they don't have them in England, or they are very rare, or something like that. We're expecting rough storms this afternoon and through the evening so I wanted to prepare her for the tornado sirens. What an odd experience for her! She's only a little nervous about the prospect of a tornado. I told her it was very unlikely that anything would happen, but I wanted her to be prepared for the worst.

I did not mention the theory of tornado panties, although I am thinking about adopting it. The theory is that you should keep a cute pair of panties handy for when the tornado sirens start going off. Then you change into your cute panties so that if the tornado kills you at least they will find you in cute panties. I think I'll pack up a tornado kit and put the cute panties right alongside the candles, matches, radio, and flashlight.

Seriously, would you rather be caught dead in these?


Or these?

Thanks to Crystal's mother-in-law for the idea of Tornado Panties
She has changed my life -- or, I guess, my death.

A very important word

As we were getting dressed for school this morning, Luke announced, "Mom, thank you is a very important word."

Me, "Yes it is."

Luke, "And 'you're welcome' is a very important word too."

Me, "Yes it is. It is very polite to use those words. There is another important word too. Do you know what it is?"

Luke gave me a blank stare then screwed up his lips like he was thinking and announced, "No."

Me, "Well, it starts with a 'P'." Still a blank stare. I started to sound it out, "Puh, puh, puh."

I lean forward waiting for him to finish the word 'please', but instead he said with a look of excitement and dawning realization, "Polonium?!"

I chuckled, "Um, well, that is an interesting word too, but that isn't the word I was thinking of." Still a blank look so I said, "I was thinking of the word 'please.'"

Luke, "Oh, yeah."

Me, "Oh my. *sigh* Polonium, huh?"

No answer -- he had moved on to something else.

In case you are like me and don't know what that is, polonium is an element and is used in some devices to eliminate static electricity in processes such as rolling paper, manufacturing sheet plastics, and spinning synthetic fibers. I had to look it up. I also saw some mention of using it as a source of heat in spacecraft and satellites. I'm guessing that is how Luke heard about it since he wants to be an astronaut.

Questions Without Answers

Luke: Mommy, do you like prison?

Me: Uh, no. I don't think so.

Luke: Why?

Me: Hmmm. What's on TV?

____________________________________

Luke: Mommy, are you going to grow another baby in your belly?

Me: Probably not.

Luke: Why?

Me: I don't know. Do you want me to grow another baby in my belly?

Luke (with great enthusiasm): Yeah! And then you can grow another one and another one and another one and another one and another one - (somewhere in there Evie and Luke started jumping up and down in cadence with each "another one")

Me (cutting Luke off with only an additional 6 kids): Whoa there kid! Where would we put all these babies?

Luke (shrugging): I don't know.

Me: Yeah, me either.

____________________________________

Luke (while watching TV, he absently put his hand on my bare legs which were propped up on our coffee table and then he looked up at me): Mom, what is that? (he started rubbing my leg which was prickly).

Me: We've been through this before. Remember, that's hair on my legs.

Luke: You know what you need?

Me: No, what's that?

Luke: You need Smooth Away.

(Chuck and I tried not to show how funny that was, but recognize that Luke is enamored with infomercials. He has also recently requested a new product called Touch and Brush. Let me know if you've seen this yet.)

Luke: What are you laughing at?

Me: Nothing at all, darling. So, you think I need to use Smooth Away?

Luke: Yeah.

Me: Where did you find out about that?

Luke (shrugging his shoulders): I dunno.

____________________________________

Me: Let's clean up your room. You two made a mess up here, so let's put it all away before bed.

Luke: Mommy, I want to tell you something. (this is a very common phrase at our house).

Me: Okay. What do you want to tell me?

Luke: My friend Maddie is very good at cleaning up.

Me: Yes, she is. She did a great job cleaning up when she visited our house last night didn't she?

Luke (solemnly nodding his head): Yes. So, you know what?

Me: What?

Luke: Maybe Maddie can come over and clean my room for me. Before I could respond, he added: She's really good at it!

Me: Yeah, well, I don't think that's such a good idea. Maddie doesn't need to clean up your mess. You need to clean up your mess. (I have to admit that I'm somewhat proud of the fact that it sounds like he's headed for management)

Luke: Why? That's so mean! Why are you mean to me?

Me: That's an age-old question my dear.

It's ba-ack . . .

That's right, the SWINE FLU is back in full force and I had no idea!

I took Evie into the doctor for her 4-year check up and yucky shots yesterday. She was a real trooper through peeing in a cup, her eye test and hearing test, getting her finger pricked for blood test, and even through getting the nasal spray for her flu vaccination. Unfortunately, the four massive shots she received in her tiny legs did not go well, but I can't really blame her for crying - that shit HURTS. For all you moms out there, I have to tell you that the four-year old shots are the worst - hands down. Evie did really well and we got her some M&M's and ice cream afterward so she is pretty much fully recovered. Still, there is nothing like the look of betrayal she gave me when I held her down as they administered her four shots. It really made me sad and made me feel like I lost some of her trust.

Anyway, the real point of this story is that our fabulous Dr. M came into the examination room at 2:30 p.m. and he looked pooped. Then he said, "I'm pooped. We've been slammed." Me, "Why? What's going on?" Dr. M said, "It's the swine flu. We're basically just treating the flu all day long." Me, "Really? I didn't realize it was bad." Dr. M, "I have already diagnosed 10 cases today and two more since lunch." Me, "Oh my gosh!" I quickly started looking around for the disinfectant. Then I said, "I had no idea!" Dr. M said, "Yes, this is a big deal. You might dismiss it when you see it on the news, but it is really a big deal."

So, I had no freakin' idea that the swine flu had reemerged with such force. I really have been living in a cave for the past month, but really, I thought I would have heard about the swine flu pandemic after all the hype and scare that resulted in the spring. I e-mailed Chuck right away and conveyed the message. Evie and I tried to stay away from everyone in the office and I semi-jokingly told Evie to hold her breath whenever we walked through the waiting room.

As we were awaiting her hearing test and blood test, we sat near the back of the office by ourselves next to the nurses' station where they take calls from people wanting to schedule appointments for their sick kids. I overheard a nurse state the following to a parent on the phone, "Can you control the fever with Tylenol?" PAUSE "Well, our office is just full of the flu, so if you can avoid coming in here and just treat the the fever the best you can at home, you'll be better off. If you come here and you don't already have the flu, then you're going to leave with it." My jaw dropped open and I started choking. Why the hell was I in that office? I had to figure out how to undo the damage that was probably already done. Everywhere we went in the office, I insisted that Evie use the disinfectant, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to come down with the flu in the next week. This SUCKS! I can't believe I hauled my healthy daughter into the den of swine flu so that we could catch it and pass it on to the rest of our healthy family.

Last night, the news confirmed that the swine flu has invaded our lives once again and there were special segments about the spread of the swine flu and swine flu prevention. Then this morning I received a message that my poor secretary has been diagnosed with the swine flu. That's right kids, the swine flu is back. There's no avoiding it and we don't even have enough vaccines to go around. So hold onto your hat, everyone. The swine flu is coming to get you and me.

On the bright side, Dr. M said that the swine flu is basically just high fever, head ache, chills, sore throat, and general achiness, but NO vomiting, nausea, or diarrhea. I personally think that is fabulous news.

So, now that you've finished reading this post, go locate some hand sanitizer and a mask and do your best to avoid the swine flu. As one of my readers once commented, "That's some pig!"

Movie Quote 42

I hate Mondays, but I love this movie, "after all . . . tomorrow is another day"

And another from that movie:

I can't go all my life waiting to catch you between husbands.

Also from the same movie (this movie is chock full of quotes, so I haven't included the obvious ones):

Female: Sir, you are no gentleman.
Male: And you, Miss, are no lady.

If no one gets this, I'll have to resort to the obvious quotes.

Birthday Rain

We finally celebrated Evie's 4th birthday this weekend, and thanks to all of you who were able to attend. We planned two hours of jump-house fun at our house. We rented a great big princess house, and some kiddie tables and chairs for outside. I bought some pink and white flowers and placed them in vases in the center of the little pink table cloths. We had princess costumes for all the little girls to wear, including Evie, and the boys each got a sword (we were really just asking for trouble but nothing got broken). Evie was definitely the girl of the hour and she was precious!

The weather was beautiful all morning at Luke's soccer game, and it was so sunny when I went to pick up the cake and a few last minute party items, but precisely at 3:00 p.m. (the starting time for the party), it began to rain, and it rained, and rained, and then stopped, and then rained, and rained until it stopped sometime today. During the brief pause in the rain, the kids got to jump in the jump house and had a fantastic time, but I'm not sure they got my three hundred dollars worth of the bounce house. Unfortunately, before it stopped raining so that the kids could jump, it became clear that Chuck and I HAD to come up with some sort of entertainment for the thirteen children in our house, and we realized quickly that the beer and wine we provided to the adults was not going to be proper entertainment for the little children - Yes, we do have some standards. So, even though we had not one single indoor activity planned, we pulled out the Disney Trivial Pursuit and dumbed down the questions so that even our youngest little guest could win some Halloween candy corn that I happened to have on hand - thank Heaven for the holidays!

Evie received lots of fun gifts, but her absolute favorite was a Tinkerbell bust with long hair that you style. She insisted that we open up that gift first and then she played with it all last night and today. So, double thanks to Stacey and Eli for the winning gift!

My favorite part of all this was the reminder I received as I stared at my beautiful daughter and realized that I have been blessed beyond measure to have such wonderful children, family, and friends. You each are a blessing in our lives and I thank Him for making you a part of it. Oh, and I thank you for putting up with us!

Lots of love to you all! - T

Fantastic Fall

Happy October everyone! I love, love, love the fall. It is so gorgeous and yummy. The weather gets delightfully cool. The leaves rustle off the trees and swirl in the wind as they blow down the streets. I just love it! It is particularly sweet since trial is over and my birthday is coming up. It sucks that birthdays aren't as fun as when you're a kid. I think I'm going to have to think of something to make birthdays more fun for adults. Anyway, life is great. Kids are great. Lindsey is fabulous - everyone thinks so. So, as this fall progresses, hopefully we'll all enjoy pumpkins, fall colors, crisp morning air, Halloween costumes, birthday fun, Thanksgiving, and lots of football.

Cheers Everyone!

Never Thought I Would Have to Say . . .

"Evie, get your panties out of your brother's mouth."