A dear friend of mine and fellow professional mother, Sue, has decided to take the "professional" out of her motherhood. I'm so pleased for her and wish her the very best.
However, this news makes me pause to evaluate what I'm doing and whether I'm doing it right. (Because even though this is really about Sue, I can always find a way to make anything about me). The truth is, who can really tell what the right decisions are when it comes to each individual mother and child? My kids love me, but I know they miss me too. It has a lot to do with the fact that I'm busy beyond the hours required at my job and the additional hours that I spend donating my time (my time with my family) to philanthropic activities. I'm always questioning whether I've balanced it all correctly. I believe I should lead by example by having a good work ethic (which can be demonstrated by working in the home just as easily and maybe more by working in the home) and by donating my time to the community. Still, I have a full-time job (that does not confine itself to the hours of 8-5, Monday through Friday), ambitions of dedicating some time to getting in shape, commitments to three different community endeavors, the desire to spend quality alone-time with my husband, and the desire to spend quality time with my children. How can I possibly make all that work and still keep the house tidy and the laundry clean? Truth is, I don't.
So, back to my original question prompted by Sue's decision. Am I doing the right things? Am I? I don't know.
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6 comments:
There is no doubt that you are doing the right thing. The housework will still be there after the kids are grown up, but the kids won't. You are doing a great job with your family, job, and charity work. I think you are an awesome mother and mostly an awesome person. I am so proud of you and the things you do. Keep it up.
We all wonder if we are doing the right thing. The fact is that these days it is necessary to work outside the home and then come home and work some more.
You have to find a balance that feels right for YOU.
I have reprioritized by moving to a job that lets me work three days a week at night. I try to make my schedule fit what the needs of my family are and I still don't have a clean house or carpet. I feel lucky to get the laundry done each week and have food in the house for people to eat.
I did stay home with the kids for three month before we moved back from Kansas. The kids begged me to go back to work and them back to daycare. It was only after doing it that we realized we were all much happier with a working mom than a stay-at-home mom.
Hang in there and enjoy your career and family both.
Thanks ladies!
This is the million-dollar question.
Never forget that you were a whole person before you had kids. I think it's right to keep the things that don't pertain directly to the kids going.
Sometimes (okay, let's be honest... A LOT of times) I feel the same way. However, right now the decision to work full-time has been made for me since Jake is still in school and someone has to pay the bills. But, once he is out in the workforce I have to wonder how I'll feel. And honestly, I have to think that I'll probably keep working to keep us all sane. I'm sorry I'm not much help on this but I can at least tell you that I think you're wonderful and I know you're family and friends and co-workers feel the same way.
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