A universal truth

Saturday morning, 6:45 a.m.:

Two children giggle their way into my bedroom where Chuck and I are still comfortably sleeping in. I mumble hello. One of them says, "Mommy! It's wake up time!" I groan and roll over. One of them puts their face directly in front of my closed eyes and heavily breathes morning breath on me while asking, "Can I play a game on your phone?" I respond without opening my eyes, "Only if you leave me alone." One lump hops off of my sleeping body and I hear the sounds of a child's game on my iPhone. Another child snuggles into the covers and announces, "I'm going to make a tunnel!" I feel Chuck's arm swing down and seal off the top of the covers so the child can't get in. I hear Chuck groan and announce, "Ugh! It's only 6:45! You two need to go back to bed. Go on. Go back to bed." I chuckle and crack my eyes open. The children look confused and one daring child asks, "Why?" Chuck repeats, "It's too early. Go on back to your room. And be quiet. Don't wake George up." They quickly thunder out of the room. I roll over, close my eyes, and sink back into the mattress. Then I hear the halting wake-up cry of the one year old. My morning is over.

Sunday morning 6:58 a.m.

Two mongrel children rush into my room and giggle as they jump on my bed. The girl snuggles up and breathes bad breath under my nose. I snuggle back because she is still and quiet. The other one snuggles up under the comforter at the end of the bed. We all lay quietly for two minutes. After 120 seconds of quiet, the bed begins to move as the two children start to play in and among the blankets. One is a mouse and the other is feeding the mouse a carrot. I roll over and glance at the clock. 7:00 a.m. I groan, and say, "It isn't 7:30 yet. Go back to bed and don't wake George up." One of them loudly whispers, "Mommy. I'm awake." I open my eyes and state flatly, "I know. I'm not." The other child pipes up, "Yes you are awake! Your eyes are open." I think to myself, "Shit! How did I screw that up?" Then I hear George start singing Lady Gaga. I roll over and look at both of them in defeat, "Fine. I'm up. What do you want to do today?"

Monday morning 6:45 a.m.
Quiet.

Monday morning 6:55 a.m.
Quiet. I take a shower.

Monday morning 7:05 a.m.
Quiet. I dry my hair and apply makeup.

Monday morning 7:15 a.m.
Quiet. I wander into the room shared by the two oldest children. Both are sound asleep. I gently shake them, rub their backs, and whisper "Good morning. You have school today." They both groan and roll over.

Monday morning 7:20 a.m.
After much coddling and cooing, I demand, "Now! You have to get up! You have school today! They bury their heads in the covers.

Monday morning 7:25 a.m.
Luke whines and rubs his eyes as I change his clothes for him because he won't move.

Monday morning 7:29 a.m.
Luke wanders into the bathroom to brush his teeth, all the while rubbing his eyes and covering them so the daylight doesn't sneak in.

Monday morning 7:35 a.m.
I announce that I'm leaving. Luke looks at me with wide eyes. I ask if he has brushed his teeth yet. Instead of answering me, he walks over and blows his breath in my face to demonstrate his "clean" breath. I refrain from telling him that his breath doesn't smell good enough for that kind of demonstration, and debate whether he has time to brush his teeth again. But, he is finally fully awake at 7:35 a.m. even though he constantly complains that he's tired.

Eventually we make it out the door.

What the hell????? Why don't they sleep in on the weekends?!