Do you ever have the urge to just shut everything down and move to the country? I've been having that feeling a lot lately. I think it has to do with having overcommitted myself in just about every way. I'm supposed to be building a new law firm, training for a half marathon, serving as a board committee member for a local charity, running Junior Woman's Club, writing special blog posts for the state bar, organizing my book club, cooking dinner, and being an overall good mother and wife. I have to admit that it all adds up to a bit too much sometimes. But I guess the best I can do is just keep swimming. Glad you all are out there to listen to me vent.
I feel like a terrible person mostly because I'm letting my running slide. At first, I was all about not running for a very long time after the marathon, but now, I just feel like I'm a lazy, fat slob who has no motivation to do anything healthy. Today, I'm drinking water and I ate a Kind Bar for lunch. Maybe it's time to get back to MyFitnessPal, but doesn't that just add one more thing to my daily to-do list? And let's not forget all those little things that aren't getting done like responding to Trivia Crack and Words With Friends, and Facebook posts, and blog entries, and bathing the dogs, and raking leaves, and the list goes on and on and on and on...
Sigh.
Do you guys ever feel this way? Am I the only one who thinks cooking at home only adds to my unending list of things to do?
I want to cut back on my commitments, but how? What do I cut? Exercise and blogging are the first things to go, but to be honest, those are probably the only things that keep me healthy and sane, other than my sweet husband.
Or maybe perhaps I'm feeling this way because I'm just coming off of a four-day weekend during which I was constantly surrounded by my precious children who I consider little nuggets of gold in small doses, but in large, extended doses, they seem to suck the energy right out of me.
Well, so much for that. Back to client meetings and phone calls...
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2 comments:
It does seem to get to be too much at times. I have learned how to say no, and then suffer guilt later for saying no. BUT as you say it is my sanity. 2013 and 2014 was the hardest year dealing with full time college (and to brag being summa cum lade and honor roll), one child in college, a senior in high school, president of my local ONS chapter, chaperoning youth retreats, EMHC every other week and then working full time and trying to pick up extra shifts to help pay for college for my self and my daughter. On top of all that is the business of caring for your family. Dinner from the drive thru sounds delightful.
I am so very proud of all you do and I want you to know that you share a family trait of being an over achiever. No one can ever accuse us of being apathetic! Know that it does get better. Cherish the crazy times and the achievements that you accomplish. No one ever looked back and said I wish I had just not done anything. You are an amazing woman, just learn how to say no every now and then. I did that this week in only working three nights and going to two half day meetings.
And that exercise thing - didn't you just bike to work the other day??
I feel like this all the time and have to remind myself that it's okay to fail sometimes (but sometimes that makes me feel worse for having to admit that I can't be perfect). I wish I could give you some earth-shattering advice or turn your world upside down with a perfect answer to all of your questions but really, you just asked the same things that all of us mothers do. Why are we so hard on ourselves?! Who ever made it okay to question our every move, motive, or ability?
So really, I hope you can see yourself the same way we see you...as a smart, confident, loving, caring mother and wife who sometimes makes mistakes to prove that you're still human.
And the parts about (not) running? Maybe that's yourself trying to take a short break. And that's okay too.
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