Tuesday, June 4, 2013

My White Trash Vacation

Gosh, I used to have so much fun coming here to chat with all of you.  I still do.  I honestly miss talking to you, telling you my thoughts and all that my kids are up to, even though it isn't all that exciting.  I wish I was still better at this.  I thought about committing to doing this the way I do an exercise routine, and then I realized I'm actually doing that.  I hate exercise and I'm terrible at commiting to a routine, so here I am. This blog has become akin to excersie - a dreaded chore. That sucks!  Anyway, my hope is that I'll get more into it again. The summer is coming up.  I know I've had 5 months with my new lifestyle to get accustomed to what I do everyday, but to be honest, I haven't completely settled in.  I will.  Eventually.  I think.

Anyway, we went on a trip to the beach. Chuck and I started out attending our annual White Trash Beach Bash excursion to the Gulf Coast - this year Crystal Beach - with my high school friends, where we pretend we're still 22 and living on the edge.  It's not particularly pretty, but you do get the sound of waves and the feel of the sea breeze (aka "30-mile-an-hour wind gusts").  So, it has the right feel to it and still feels like a vacation.  After three days of boozing and drinking games and observing white trash on the beach, my body is worn out.  I mean, really worn out.  Bruised from full-contact beer pong.  My liver working overtime.  Exhausted from staying up into the hours when bars typcially close (although this year I snuck off to bed early two of the three nights).  Smelling of beer from Flip Cup.  And usually a little crisp from hours on the beach.  But that's what we all sign up for and for some reason we keep coming back for more.  It's quite a ritual.  Expecially when we all compare mystery bruises that appear in the following week.

And by the end of the weekend (or maybe the beginning), we become part of the trash ourselves.

Jello Shot Cake made with cake flavored vodka.  I thought it was quite delicious.

Isn't it pretty?

Here's a drunk man named "Peanut" who is posing with seven college-educated professional women.  It boggles the mind.

An example, of the beach scene. Yes, that's a campter trailer cruising the beach.

Remember how I mentioned the college-educated professionals above?  Well, here they are on a slip and slide positioned on our crossover from the beach house to the beach.  It's slicked up with dish soap, baby oil, and water.  Bruising ensued.

I was taking a picture of the army truck on the beach, but you can our group on the beach (in a much reduced number).

Ignore the people passed out in the backgroud, and take a look at this tower of nasty cans covered in easy cheese.  We've never created easy cheese on a tower of beer cans before.  This is a first. And then there's the sign in the back ground which thankfully you can't see clearly because my friend would KILL me for putting this on the internet.
This picture sums up the white trash feeling of the weekend.

Helping push cars out of the sand.  This happens so much we laugh about how many people get stuck.

The scene.  This is a group of people who are actually young.  It's what we used to be before we got old.

 And on the last night, we hit this disgusting bar.  All they were serving was crappy pizza, but we ate it all.

The trashy bar where we ate.  You can't see it, but one of the tables had a cake in the shape of a pair of boobs, and then you'll notice there's a highchair in the same room. It was an interesting experience.

Picture fun, because what else do you do while you are waiting for your food at a bar?

Just a picture of fun.

Dancing and taking pictures while we wait for food at the bar.

No, I will never run for public office.  Why do you ask?

Even I sunk to the level of white trash when I did the splits in the middle of the restaurant (a tradition, really), and for some reason I decided to stuff my bra with paper napkins.  Many, many beers were involved. 

Us at the bar.  I acquired a hat for a little while.

This year, we had to rent the house for an entire week instead of just the weekend, so I decided to pull the kids out of school for THREE days so they could come enjoy the beach after the beach bashers left on Monday. This is huge in my book. I'm a rules follower and if they don't have a note from the doctor then my kids don't miss school. Seriously. So, I let all their teachers know what was going on and then asked them to send school work home on Thursday evening so they could keep up while we were gone. It worked a little bit. Poor Luke had more to do than anyone else, and bless my mother's heart, she made him do it all! I love that woman! She watched them all weekend and then drove them all the way down to the beach house on Monday afternoon - fighting ridiculous traffic. Did I mention that I love her?

Anyway, we had fun at the beach. Here are some pictures to see what we did. They really did enjoy it even if Luke got a little sunburned (after he decided to apply his own sunscreen and missed his entire back) and is now itchy and peeling. This is a new experience for him. But now he knows why we put sunscreen on and I bet he'll complain less about it this summer.

So, we flew kites, ate lots of junk food (leftover from the Beach Bashers), watched TV, played in the ocean, built sand castles, and collected shells. It was relaxed and lovely, and it gave my body some time to recover.