Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Popularity Contest

Luke wants a Star Wars birthday party. That's fine for now, but if he's 16 and still asking for Star Wars parties we'll have to talk.

As for Evie, she's doesn't like group activities - think dance class. I've already joked that I should start filling her wardrobe with black clothing so she can dress the part of a loner. But she's just so gosh darn cute in pink.

Everyone wants their kids to be smart, good looking, and popular, and I'm no different. I'm not ready to evaluate whether Luke and Evie are nerds, but I am honestly a little worried about both of them. I wonder if there is a book out there called: Parent's Guide to Raising Popular Children.

Valerie and Kim

Yes, she looks great as a result of her Jenny Craig diet and diligent work outs. And I have to give her credit for getting into a bikini for the whole world to see at age 48. However, although I'm certain that Valerie lost a bunch of weight and looks fabulous now, I do not believe that her picture on the cover of People magazine is untouched by the magic of airbrushing. This is driven home by the fact that Kim Kardashian (28 years old) is airbrushed on a magazine cover as seen here on her blog. Notice how her legs look real on the left and flawless on the right.
I say, Good for Kim. It really is comforting to know that people who are on the covers of magazines are, in fact, airbrushed. Now, I'd really love for People or Valerie to come forward and confirm whether or not there was airbrushing on her pictures. If not, then fine. But, if there was airbrushing, then I think it is total crap for them to be showing off her "bikini body" without a disclaimer, particularly in light of the fact that she is selling a weight loss plan. And, as I said, I believe there was airbrushing, so you know how I feel about her being on the cover.

Movie Quote 20

I'm sure this is a needle in a haystack, but every time I watch this movie, this line makes me laugh.

Just because you've got the emotional range of a teaspoon.

Monday, March 30, 2009

Au Pair

I put in our application for an au pair today. I'm sure most people have visions of some petite, buxom, blond, Swedish girl, but we have visions of an extra set of hands and a kind heart to help us gather lunches together and play ball with the kids. I'll keep you all posted on our progress. For now, I'm working on getting two references from friends. Hope they agree and can think of something nice to write about us.

Boring update

George's ear is healing well. We went for George's one week check up today and they removed the steri-strips. The stitches are still there, but will dissolve soon. I'll take a pic of George's "new" ear soon.

I spent all day yesterday on the couch watching movies on USA and Lifetime. It was awesome! I loved every minute. Plus, I got some great movie quotes that I can challenge you all with. (Notice that I ended a sentence with a preposition? See, I'm not always grammar crazy).

Dance class was a disaster . . . again.

Soccer was canceled because it was cold, cold, cold, and windy.

Not too exciting, but it was nice to have a weekend that wasn't exciting.

By the way, Chuck thinks Luke should be able to ride in the front seat with his booster. As I understand it, it is not against the law to allow a child to ride in the front seat so long as the kid isn't in a rear facing seat; however, the backseat is supposed to be the safest place for a child to ride. Can anyone point me to the law on this matter? Chuck won't take my word on it and rolls his eyes when I argue that Luke should not be sitting in the front seat on a regular basis.

Friday, March 27, 2009

My baby's been smoking . . . already.

We ran out of diapers yesterday so I picked some up at the 7-11 last night when I was filling up my car with gas. Got home and changed the diaper George had been wearing for five hours. Chuck looked around, sniffed the air, lifted up George and sniffed his bottom, and pronounced with disgust, "George smells like an ashtray." Me: "Whaat?!" In disbelief, I sniffed George, and sure enough, he smelled like he'd been smoking cigarettes. The whole pack of diapers smelled like cigarette diapers. Guess that's what you get when you buy diapers from a gas station (even if it is a nice gas station).

Thursday, March 26, 2009

New Pics of George

My friend Nell (Cowtown Camera Girl) was at George's school taking pictures of her son (they go to the same school) when she saw George and had an impromptu two minute photo shoot. I just adore these pictures. It was obviously meant to be since he is wearing a shirt that she gave him! Thank you, thank you, thank you, Nell, for these beautiful shots!
The last one is Nell's favorite. The first two are my favorites.

The Gym

I joined.

Then I joined Jenny Craig.

I've worked out three times (kudos to me).

Cheated on Jenny twice (food fidelity is not my strong point).

Cheated with healthy food and wine (who really though I'd give up wine?).

Now I want to know why I haven't lost any weight yet.

Just a little impatient.

Seeing a trainer tonight.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Movie Quote 19

You all probably know the popular movie/book that this is from, but it is also a quote from another movie (no relation to the first obvious movie) and I'm wondering if anyone knows the second movie.

Second star to the right and straight on 'til morning

By the way, we watched the first movie in the car this morning . . . and every morning lately. The kids really seem to enjoy it. Strange, it was never one of my favorites.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

The Straw that Broke the Camel's Back

I'm joining a gym TODAY.

No need to explain.

I imagine you get the picture.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Pics of The Ear

Some cute pictures to start. He's my sweetie pie!


AFTER: (pardon my face)

He's doing remarkably well. Woke up happy and is acting like my sweet baby George! Good night all.

George's Worst Day . . . so far

The surgery is over and let me just say . . . Thank You Lord. That was not my favorite experience. Shots are one thing, but surgery on a baby's ear while the baby is awake is horrible. They papus him up, hold him down, numb his ear with a local and then start cutting away. I showed up and could hear his crying from the waiting room. I made it in time for the stitches. (Have I mentioned that I'm not good with this stuff? - that's why my nursing career never took off). I'm glad I wasn't there for the whole thing. The entire procedure took about a half hour or less and then we sat in the lobby of the dr's office while I comforted my very upset little man. He's been sleeping since almost two hours. Poor little man. We go back in a week for follow up.

Maxine and Volcanos

For those of you who don't know, I have a pen pal named Maxine who lives in Alaska and who I have been writing to since I was in 4th grade. She is older than me and absolutely WONDERFUL! I love to share her with my friends and family because she is too fabulous not to tell people about, but it is weird to hear that a 31 - year old woman has a pen pal in this day and age. And to top it off, she doesn't use computers so all our correspondence is through old fashioned mail. This makes me a terrible friend because my letters are so spotty at times - particularly when my life gets as busy as it is now. Maxine is very, very special and has been with me through all my major life events. Leaving elementary school, my father's death, my high school experience, boyfriends, starting college, meeting Chuck, getting married, going to law school, jobs, and having babies. And through it all, I've only met her in person twice: once when I met her in fourth grade (she spoke to my elementary school class about Alaska and then we all had to write her a thank you note, but I kept writing at her encouragement), and then when I was 19 and living in Shreveport with Chuck in our first year of marriage. So, it is my great pleasure to share with you that George Maxwell is in fact named after my good friend Maxine.

Why bring this up now? Well, the volcano near Maxine (Mt. Redoubt) has erupted. . . again! The last time it erupted was in 1989 and Maxine sent me a letter about it along with a little ziplock packet of ash, which I shared with my 6th Grade English class. She is close enough that she gets "ashed" when the volcano erupts. Fascinating. She sent a card about a month ago informing us that it would probably erupt again, but that she and her husband Ray weren't worried because they has been "ashed" before. Pretty cool, huh? And that isn't even the coolest thing about her. I will have to share more later. For now, here is a post to the CNN article regarding last night's eruption.


George's Surgery

George is scheduled for surgery today at noon. He's having the skin tag on his ear removed by a plastic surgeon. I'll post pics later. I don't have a problem with them removing it, but it makes me sad (1) to put my baby through that type of procedure; (2) to remove a part of him (weird?); and (3) to alter his body from what it was when he was born so that he will never truly know what he was like when he was born. Yes, I think these thoughts are weird too, but it is what I'm feeling.

I'm also feeling rather sad because my baby is growing up. I'm not nursing him very much anymore and for some reason it has always been sad to me to watch my milk run dry. TMI? There's just something about nursing (even though I'm not a huge fan of it inasmuch as I am not a la leche nazi or believe that you're cheating your child if you don't breast feed), that makes me feel closer to my sweet baby. Plus, seriously, the breast milk tastes way better than formula (do the comparison). I have to admit that I'm totally grossed out by the thought of trying my own breastmilk, and in my experience with each child, I could only muster enough courage to taste a drop of breastmilk and a drop of formula. It creeps me out for some silly reason, but I felt the need to know what the stuff tastes like. The breastmilk tastes pretty good (for breastmilk), but I don't know how any baby can stand the formula - It is disgusting and smells that way too. I guess it doesn't really matter what I think it tastes like so long as George likes it.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Movie Quote 18: For the Men

I don't know a single man who can't quote this movie:

You have failed me for the last time, Admiral.

There are so many quotes to choose from, but this is one of my favorite parts for some weird reason.

There's no crying in soccer . . . anymore.

Luke scored a goal!!!!!! I almost peed my pants when Luke broke away with the ball and headed toward the goal (the correct goal, no less) and kicked it right into the net scoring the second of only two points for his team in the entire game. The opposing team kicked our butts, but it doesn't matter because my little boy SCORED A GOAL! Yes, I was jumping up and down and screaming as if he had just won an Olympic Gold medal. The parents of the other team stood there looking like I had lost my mind, but I didn't care. I was at the game with all three kids by myself, so I tossed George into his car seat so that I could run to the field and give Luke high fives and hugs and kisses and throw him into the air. I was so freakin' pumped! He was pretty excited in the moment, but when I kept telling people about it during the day, he was all casual about it like, "yeah, another day in the life, mom. . . " (no, he didn't actually say that, but that was his tone when he acknowledged the goal." In fact, I praised him as we were leaving the soccer field saying, "Luke! I'm so proud of you! You made a goal!" He put on his teenage demeanor and replied matter of factly, "Yeah, I'm awesome." (yes, he actually said that). Despite his lack of excitement, I have to agree that he is awesome. Not necessarily an awesome soccer player, but an awesome son and person all around. I can't wait to see what kind of man he grows up to be - I know he will be awesome.

Friday, March 20, 2009

Charlie Waffles anyone?

Seriously, sorry about the crappy posts lately. Here's a recent Luke story to get back into the swing of things.

Last night Luke started singing a Charlie Waffles song. Anyone not familiar with Charlie Waffles from Two and a Half Men? It is Charlie Sheen's character's stage name for his set of children's songs. However, the children's songs are not something you want your kids singing in public or at school, or anywhere. Here's link to a clip from the show that has the song Luke is singing called "Bye Bye Boobies". You should definitely watch it now before finishing reading this post.


So, last night Luke starting singing "Bye Bye Boobies" to himself (he sings a lot). He started out, "I drink from a sippy cup, sippy cup, sippy cup / I drink from a sippy cup/ 'Cause I'm a big kid now"

Chuck held his breath waiting for the next line which for Charlie Waffles is, "Bye, bye boobies / Bye bye boobies / Bye bye boobies / 'Cause I'm a big kid now." As Luke started singing, Chuck started to cringe waiting for the word "boobies. " This is how Luke finished the song, "Bye, bye, bye-bye / Bye, Bye, bye-bye / Bye, Bye, bye-bye / 'Cause I'm a big kid now." Chuck stopped holding his breath and relaxed.

Chuck was telling me this story later and I wondered out loud, "Who taught him that? Do you think there's a kid at school who is singing these songs?" Seriously, what kind of parent would let their kid listen to these songs or, worse, teach their kids these songs, right? Well, apparently, that parent is Chuck because he looked at me with only a little regret (but mostly amusement) in his eyes and informed me that he had been watching the show the day before when he and the kids had gotten home. He tells me that he tried to change the channel as quickly as possible when the Charlie Waffles songs came on, but I have my doubts. I guess we can't unring that bell. I wouldn't have guessed that Luke would memorize the songs that quickly. Goes to show that Charlie Waffles really has some catchy tunes and lyrics. Some of the other songs include, "From Diaper to Wiper," "Don't Shake the Baby," "Mommy's Little Happy Pill," and "When Mommy & Daddy Wrestle."

Thursday, March 19, 2009

I'm not afraid to die

Well, actually, I am afraid to die, but I have no reason for feeling that way except for the unexpectedness of it all. My sister reminded me of a story that always brings me comfort when someone dies. Natasha Richardson has brought the possibility of a young death to the forefront of my mind. This is the story in which I find comfort. I hope it brings you all comfort too.

A sick man turned to his doctor as he was preparing to leave the examination room and said, “Doctor, I am afraid to die. Tell me what lies on the other side.”

Very quietly, the doctor said, “I don’t know.”

“You don’t know? You, a Christian man, do not know what is on the other side?”

The doctor was holding the handle of the door; on the other side came a sound of scratching and whining, and as he opened the door, a dog sprang into the room, and leaped on him with an eager show of gladness.

Turning to the patient, the doctor said, “Did you notice my dog? He’s never been in this room before. He didn’t know what was inside. He knew nothing except that his master was here, and when the door opened, he sprang in without fear. I know little of what is on the other side of death, but I do know one thing, I know my Master is there and that is enough.”

~Author Unknown~

Looking tired.

It is disappointing when you work hard to make yourself presentable in the morning - fresh clothes, makeup and hair - and then someone looks at you first thing and says, "Wow, you look tired." Hmm. Not a good sign. By the way, the eye cream is not helping my multiplying crows feet.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Movie Quote 17

There's a difference between a failure and a fiasco. A failure is merely the absence of success. Any fool can achieve failure. But a fiasco, a fiasco is a disaster of epic proportions. A fiasco is a folk tale told to others to make other people feel more alive because it didn't happen to them.

No one seems overly curious about Movie Quote 17, but the answer is Elizabethtown starring Orlando Bloom, Kirsten Dunst, and Susan Sarandon. Pretty good movie. Odd, but good. And my favorite part is a video that they play to get kids to mind their parents.

Birthday Present

Happy Birthday to Chuck. Chuck refuses to acknowledge the blog until I remove the picture of him on the main page as seen here: He hates it (mostly because he says I haven't fully explained the story behind it - I guess I'll have to do that eventually). Soooo, last night at 2:30 a.m. (when I was feeding George because he still wakes up in the middle of the night), I decided that I would remove the hated picture (which I still adore and chuckle at each time I see it) and put up the most recent picture I have of him in its place. This morning, I checked my camera for the most recent picture of him and this is what I had. - and I'm not even kidding.

What you see is Chuck making alterations to the drapes he is hanging in our dining room (with a sewing machine that we basically stole from our friend Jessica - she loaned it to us abut 7 years ago and we never gave it back - sorry Jess - you can have it back when Chuck finishes the drapes). Yup, that's the man I married. Isn't he wonderful? So, happy birthday to Chuck. I expect no more complaining about the Cowtown Marathon picture which really isn't that bad. To prove my point, I informed him about some crazy lady on BabyCenter who posted a picture of her husband's hemroid, and I insisted that his Cowtown Marathon picture couldn't possibly compete with the insanity and embarassment of having a picture of his ass online for the world to see. That lady is nut job, but clearly her husband is too if he let her (1) take the picture and (2) post it online. Here's a link, but really, I warn you that it is really and truly a picture of this woman's husband's roid. Nasty! I didn't believe it so I looked. . . I can't believe I looked!)

Chuck, I hope you are pleased with the alteration to the blog. Much love and joy to you on your special day!

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Dance Class Hell

Dance class is not progressing any better than it had except for the fact that Evie adores her teacher. Here she is sitting in her teacher's lap. I've attached a video showing her "progress." Every week during class, all the girls sit in a circle and each student takes a turn skipping around the circle. Here you can see Evie's teacher asking her if she wants to be next. Evie repeatedly shakes her head no. Her teacher even offered to skip with her, but Evie is pretty stubborn and you can see how she reacts to the entire situation. Eventually the class even pretends to cry because she won't skip around the circle. She is unaffected and eventually wins this round.

The next video is just a snippet of the recital routine and you can see the whole class performing while Evie stands and watches. They are dancing to Octopus' Garden by the Beatles.

It might be hopeless, but Chuck reminded me that it took almost all season for Luke to adjust to Soccer and now he LOVES it. So, I have hope.

Are you wearing green?


OR NOT . . .

Monday, March 16, 2009

Suit pants and leggings

I woke up this morning and, as I sucked in and snapped my pants, I thought, "I need to lose weight." So, I had a chocolate cupcake for lunch. Smart . . . very smart. Perhaps I should join a gym to even out the poor choices I'm making. Of course, I would have to actually go to the gym and it would be best to do so before my suit pants start to look like leggings. Hmmm.

Back to the chocolate cupcake. Okay, I only had the chocolate cupcake after I ate my avocado chicken salad and iced tea (from McKinley's - another favorite, and the salad is my new favorite dish). But the cupcake was fabulous. It is from a new bakery in town called J. Rae's. They just have cookies, cupcakes and cheesecake. Delicious!

Rambling Post and Movie Quote 17

I swear, I think the world is moving on without me. Everyone is so busy right now having kids, raising kids, adjusting to the economy, taking trips, getting married, getting divorced. And I feel like I'm still just trying to keep my head above water while I adjust to working and having three kids. It's Chuck's birthday this week. I usually plan a big shindig for him, but I can barely plan anything or even think of what to get him for his birthday. He'll be 35. Perhaps I can jump start his midlife crisis. What a nightmare. . . I'm so not ready for that.

I know I'm rambling and I have nothing interesting to post, but honestly, I'm still freaking out about the speed with which everything around me is changing. I just read Ashley's Closet and realize that nothing is certain. She is facing foreclosure and a huge lifestyle change simply because the economy sucks and the unemployment rate in her area of the country is skyrocketing. Things are good here in Texas still so it freaks me out to know that other people in the country are suffering and it could so quickly become our suffering as well. Things are never secure. If it wasn't this it would be something else. (That's another movie quote for those of you who are ambitiously watching obscure movies.) The point is that I'm constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop. If it isn't the economy, will it be a death in the family? an illness for my children? a car accident? Who knows. Sorry for the somber Monday, but it is what is on my mind. For now, work is good, kids are healthy (even if they have perpetually runny noses), family is safe and being fed and clothed, the mortgage is being paid, and the kids are receiving a good education, and my husband loves me. What more can I ask for?

As for the movie quote, here's another quote from that movie.

There's a difference between a failure and a fiasco. A failure is merely the absence of success. Any fool can achieve failure. But a fiasco, a fiasco is a disaster of epic proportions. A fiasco is a folk tale told to others to make other people feel more alive because it didn't happen to them.

Friday, March 13, 2009

Movie Quote 16

Just for fun, although I'm certain JBowman will jump in with the answer right away. After all, this quote was on all the previews for this movie, and Chuck thought it was hilarious.

(singing): Spider-Pig, Spider-Pig. / Does whatever a Spider-Pig does. / Can he swing / from a web? / No he *can't*, / He's a pig. / Look out! / He is the Spider-Pig!

Whoohoo for Friday!

I swear this has been a very, very long week for some reason. No idea why except for being busy at work and with all my extracurricular activities: 5 meetings this week, 3 on Wednesday. This afternoon I'm getting my hair highlighted (it seriously needs it, as you may have noticed from my pictures) and I can't wait. I am just longing to sit in a chair and think of nothing. But chances are that I'll have a brief or a response to work on while I allow the hairdresser to work her magic. The last time I was at the salon, I left and went straight to the hospital to deliver George. George is THREE MONTHS OLD today! Can't believe it except for the fact that he is so huge! I'll try to post a three month pic tomorrow.

Hope you all have a wonderful weekend!

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Movie Quote 15

This is one of my new favorites. I love this movie. If you haven't seen it, I highly recommend it.

Little did he know that this simple seemingly innocuous act would result in his imminent death.

I'll give a hint with a picture:

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Knocking on wood

George only woke up once last night and the night before. He is such a beautiful angel. I'm in love. I took probably 50 pictures of him last night while he laid on the ground for tummy time. He has the sweetest feet, the chubbiest cheeks, and the most beautiful, wise eyes.

As for the other two, they are hooligans! We all went for a walk to eat at a restaurant on TCU's campus and the two hooligans were in cahoots the whole time having the most hilarious conversations. For example:

Luke: Earwigs crawl into people's ears, right Evie?
Evie: Uh huh
Luke: That gross! Right Evie?
Evie: That's gross!

Ah, the little darlings!

Of course, they already think I'm losing my hearing because everytime George cries they feel the need to announce it.

George: (starting to wimper as he lays on the ground)
Evie: Mommy, George is crying.
Me: Yes, thank you.
George: (still crying, but I pick him up and sit on the couch)
Evie: Mom, George is CRYING.
Me: Yes, I hear him, he's sitting in my lap.
George: (still crying and so I give him a pacifier)
Evie: He's still crying, Mom!
Me: Thank you, Evie, I can hear him.
George: (fighting the pacifier)
Evie: (Hovering while George turns crying down to a whimper)
George: (Quietly sucking his pacifier)
Evie: He's happy, Mom! (spoken with true and utter surprise at my accomplishment, and she wanders off to her toys)
Me: (sigh)

Rain, rain, rain

Love the rain. Love the rain! Unfortunately, I don't love trying to get three children to school in the rain. Luke and Evie insisted on using their little umbrellas. His is spider man and hers has bears or something on it. It is cute, but I was soooooo late! I wish I had taken a picture! At least they didn't try to hop into every puddle they saw - that is a common occurrence that drives me crazy.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

So busy. . . for today

I've been so busy that I don't even have time to post. Very good news, particularly in light of yesterday's bad news in the legal industry: 300 attorneys, 500 staff laid off.

I have to say, I was watching the news last night (only for the weather because I hate listening to all the bad news - depressing), and I was shocked to hear them introduce their new segment called "Survive in '09". I can't believe there is actually a catch phrase for this. It's all hype and hysteria around here. Everyone hold onto your hats and try not to freak out too much.

Screw Daylight Saving Time

I really, really hate when the time changes.

I want to move to one of those rebellious areas of the U.S. that doesn't participate in Daylight Saving Time.

Sunday, March 8, 2009

He smiles

He's been smiling for a while, but he does it a lot lately and it is wonderful. Of course, he really started smiling a lot when grandma visited last week. Each smile is a wonderful gift.
He has also been jabbering a bit and that is super wonderful to hear and watch. I love that he has started interacting. And I know you won't believe this (and I only have two children as witnesses), but George actually said "mama" last week. Yes, I know he didn't actually mean to say it, and I know that he doesn't know what it means, BUT he did clearly say it!

Here's a little picture update, including some pics of the kids taking the situation into their own hands when George was crying and I didn't get there fast enough. So, when I arrived and asked if George was still crying (btw, I had been upstairs and dropped something off in the kitchen), the kids replied, "No, mom. He was just hungry." I walked into the living room and found Luke and Evie feeding George the rest of his fresh bottle. They are little angels.
Evie had to have a turn too.

When Grandma visited, she had him smiling like crazy and even claims he laughed, so I got the camera out to catch it on film. Unfortunately, Evie took that moment to bestow (as she often does) her undivided attention and love upon her little brother. This captures Evie's typical behavior around George. She gets this touchy feely even when I'm trying to nurse. You can only imagine how difficult it is for her (and me and George) for her to get her arms around George for a hug while he is nursing. She seems undeterred when I tell her she should hug him later.

Here, I was trying to capture more of George's smiles and talking, but of course, he is camera shy once again so you pretty much here me and Chuck talking the whole time. Just another example of crazy, sweet, parental love. God, I'm in love with my family!

Saturday, March 7, 2009

What did he say!?!

This morning we had all the kids in our bed after they woke up and we were all just talking and hanging out before we had to get up for the day's activities. Luke was snuggled up with me and out of nowhere he opened up his legs, cupped his testicles and said, "What are testicles for?" I explained that testicles are for making babies. Then he asked, "But when are we going to cut my testicles off?" I choked a bit, and said, "What did you say?" He repeated, "When are we going to cut off my testicles?" I quickly replied, "We aren't going to cut off your testicles." At that point, Chuck chimed in, "Luke, steers have their testicles cut off, not people." My eyes were still wide after Luke's question, but my panic subsided as I realized Luke was merely confused about the differences between humans and livestock. I restated that "We never cut of a person's testicles." (It is too soon to explain necessary medical procedures that might make my statement false). Luke still seemed a little confused, but he accepted the answer and Chuck sent Luke and Evie to their room to get dressed.

Of course, as soon as the kids were out of the room I looked to Chuck for an explanation. Chuck explained that when they drive by Will Rogers Coliseum every day there is a sign announcing the events. Luke always asks what is on the sign. One day the sign mentioned Bull Riding and Steer Roping. Luke asked what a bull was and Chuck responded that it is a boy cow. Luke asked what a steer was and Chuck responded it is a boy cow. Of course, the next obvious question is what is the difference between a steer and a bull. Chuck explained that a bull has testicles for making babies and steers have their testicles cut off. (Okay, and here is my biggest problem with the entire explanation). Luke asked why they cut off the testicles of a steer. Chuck said steers are raised for their meat and the meat tastes better if there are no testicles. (No problem with that, but with the next part). Then he proceeded to say that ranchers also don't want the steers making babies because the bulls are the best boy cows and they only want the best boy cows making babies. To me, selective breeding is a pretty big bomb to drop on a boy child. And obviously, Luke thinks that they do the same thing to people that they do to animals.

And I thought I had heard all the questions there could be about Luke's private parts. I was wrong. I better start saving for Luke's therapist bills now.

Friday, March 6, 2009

Chuck's typical Friday afternoon

Chuck's already drinking margaritas at Joe T's. Life is sooo unfair! Ha! Nah, I'm busy at work and lovin' every minute of it! (not even being sarcastic!)

For Laura

Welcome to the blog. I expect a comment so that I know you went to see a picture of little George!

Love you!

Movie Quote 14 (Hint)

Apparently you need a hint, so here's an obvious quote:

Dear Lord baby Jesus, lyin' there in your ghost manger, just lookin' at your Baby Einstein developmental videos, learnin' 'bout shapes and colors. I would like to thank you for bringin' me and my mama together, and also that my kids no longer sound like retarded gang-bangers.

Hope you get it from this. The "Lord baby Jesus" part is my favorite. Even the attorneys in my office quote this movie, and they are unlikely fans of this movie.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Movie Quote 14

There are so many to choose from in this movie, but I settled on this one because so many of the others are too obvious - and this one is pretty obvious too.

Help me Jesus! Help me Jewish God! Help me Allah! AAAAAHHH! Help me Tom Cruise! Tom Cruise, use your witchcraft on me to get the fire off me!

A fabulously funny movie, if I do say so myself.
2009 is shaping up to be a hell of a year of change. People getting married, people having kids, people moving, people getting divorce, people changing jobs and losing jobs, people facing the economy, etc. I like change, but I prefer when the change is gradual predictable. Right now, this is too much change all at once. I find myself clinging to the things I know are steady - Chuck, my family, and my friends. I love you all.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Who's out there?

Okay, so I have a counter on my blog that keeps track of the number of hits on my blog and what kinds of searches lead people to my blog. Well, awhile ago I posted a question about why snot is green when you're sick and let me tell you that entry has had a ton of hits from people who are using search engines to find out about boogers. How nasty is this? I think the funny part is the disgusting ways people phrase this inquiry. Here are some of the searches, but there have been many more:

"why do your boogers turn green when you are sick"
"mustard colored boogers" and
my favorite: "chunky green mucous blood nose"

Yick! So disgusting, but at least my sister Joan provided a medical explanation.

Oh, and "pregnant boobs" gets quite a few hits too, but I bet that is either pregnant moms or perverted men who are sorely disappointed when they hit my blog.

Starbucks let down

Ever since Starbucks announced its new meal deal options, I've been totally pumped about trying one of their breakfast sandwiches. I even went to the Starbucks website to check out all the new options that were being offered in an attempt to compete with Dunkin Donuts and McDonalds. By the way, I love McDonald's coffee, and a small cup costs less than a dollar!

Back to Starbucks. The food sounds great! For $3.95 you get a tall coffee of your choice and your choice of one of the following sandwiches: Artisan Bacon Sandwich, Artisan Ham Sandwich, Reduced Fat Turkey Bacon Sandwich or Sausage Sandwich. And they look tasty too.

So, when I went to the Starbucks downtown and asked if they had the new breakfast sandwiches yet (which were supposed to hit stores on Monday) and they told me no, I was very disappointed. Still, I ordered my coffee and grabbed some breakfast before eagerly asking "When are you all going to be offering the breakfast sandwiches?" Do my great disappointment the barrista sheepishly replied, "We aren't getting them at this store." I think I looked like I was going to cry. I was soooo excited about this. So, screw the downtown Starbucks. I'll just have to find a different place.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

When I Grow Up . . .

Luke wants to be a Daddy, but he does not want to be a Grandpa.

He won't tell us what he wants to do for a living. Perhaps he'll be a stay at home dad and his wife will earn the big bucks.

Monday, March 2, 2009

Still Recovering

Shout out to my mom who watched the kids yesterday while I groaned in pain until 4 p.m. She rocks! But she'll be able to hold this over my head for a long, long time. It was an interesting weekend, but you'll have to hear the tale and see the pictures in person because there is no way I'm posting them online. For those of you who know my mom, you'll probably hear the story more than once. Lucky you.

Post Bachelorette Party

Outrageous Hangover + 3 Kids = Hell on Earth