Thursday, December 30, 2010
My father worked in profanity the way other artists might work in oils or clay. It was his true medium, a master.
And another from the same movie:
Only one thing in the world could've dragged me away from the soft glow of electric sex gleaming in the window.
Totally obvious, I know. Awesome movie that I cannot get Chuck to sit through and I would've thought he'd love it!
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Poor George is a third-class citizen and did not have a big birthday party. We forgot to plan it. We thought about planning it. We got tired just thinking about it.
We decided to just do a family birthday. We took George out for his favorite food: pizza. Our awesome neighbor, Taylor, joined us for dinner and gifts.
We sang happy birthday to George and had him blow out the only candles I had available in the house that would fit on his homemade cake -- homemade by Chuck. This kid is seriously neglected compared to the effort we put into our other two kids on their second birthdays. Yes, well, that's the way it is now, I guess.
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
We had a pretty low-key Christmas this year. Usually, I have lots of visitors at the house including family and friends - I try to have an open house for all those people who get bored in the evening or tired of visiting their own family, or don't have any family in town to visit. I didn't really extend very many formal invitations, so this year, it was super quiet until about 7:30 when our friends Mr. & Mrs. Chesapeake stopped by with their daughter Savannah. The kids ramped up their craziness and we got to catch up with our dear friends until after 10:00 p.m. And, of course, our precious neighbor Taylor stopped by too. But until then, it was just the immediate family and Rosie - who is a great gift giver (by the way - more on that later).
Here's a picture of my dining room table all set for Christmas dinner. I'm really impressed with myself. And the beautiful centerpiece is actually a flower arrangement that I received from lead counsel on the crazy case I've been working on lately. He sent it as a "thank you" and I was really touched by his thoughtfulness.
So that doesn't even begin to sum up our holiday, but now that I'm back at work, I've got lots to do. So, I'll just tell you a little tidbit about the kids understanding of Christmas. I've been really emphasizing with the kids that Christmas is all about Jesus' birthday. So I keep asking, "Now, why do we celebrate Christmas?" It usually takes a second or two, but Luke and Evie have both learned that it is for Jesus' birthday. I was feeling pretty pleased with myself until one day Murphy (our elf on a shelf) was hiding in the beautiful nativity scene that Chuck's grandmother gave us for our first Christmas together 13 years ago. So I asked the kids that evening, "Where's Murphy today? Did you find him?"
Evie was sitting on my lap watching TV and disinterestedly said, "Oh yeah." She continued to stare at the TV without blinking.
I nudged her, "Well, where was he?"
She waved her hand in the general direction of the nativity scene (without breaking her concentration on the TV) and said, "Oh, in all that church stuff."
My eyes widened, "What do you mean by 'the church stuff'?"
She waived her hand in the direction of the nativity scene (which is actually in a different room), and said, "The church stuff in there."
I sighed my annoyance, "You mean the nativity scene?"
I decided we needed to have a little lesson to understand what the "church stuff" actually was.
So, on Christmas Day, I pulled Luke and Evie over to the nativity scene (which is set up on a high shelf so they don't break it, and I asked them, "Okay, do you guys see this? What does this look like to you?"
While I was admiring the beautiful set up of Mary and Joseph standing over our precious baby Jesus, surrounded by farm animals and the wise men, Luke asked, "Are these action figures?"
I cringed. Then I decided to just embrace it and said, "Well, yes, I guess in a way, they are action figures." I proceeded to identify the different figures after they pointed out baby Jesus. As we discussed the "action figures", they put their little-kid hands all over each piece, making my heart jump in my throat as I visualized each piece falling to the floor and breaking into a dozen different pieces. Nothing broke, but I hope they understand what the "action figures" represent now.
Friday, December 24, 2010
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
I had to convince her that she shouldn't wear every necklace in there. I think she looked quite stylish and she received quite a few compliments.
One woman came up, squatted down between the two girls and proclaimed, "This is what having a little girl is all about!" I have to agree. They were adorable and enthralled. The only part that Evie didn't like was the boys who danced around because at one point she said, "Mommy, I can see his butt!" (And there is no way for me to write the disgusted inflection in her voice when she said that.) I responded, "Yes, I know." I paused and added positively, "But he has on tights." She looked at me as if I had fallen victim to the Emperor's New Clothes and said, again with disgust, "But you can still see his butt!" And you could.
Still, I think the ballet was a hit and I hope we can go again next year. It was wonderful!
Monday, December 20, 2010
I hope she has a wonderful day, although I already know she will because it is just in her personality to do so. She couldn't possibly have a day that is anything other than wonderful and perfect.
P.S. Her husband is a photographer, so her pictures always rock!
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Several minutes later, Chuck glanced over and realized Luke had actually put his hand down the front of his pants - not in his pocket.
Chuck's eyes widened and he quietly but frantically told Luke to get his hand out of his pants.
Luke looked up at Chuck, shrugged his shoulders and said, "Why?"
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Monday, December 13, 2010
Friday, December 10, 2010
You see, Murphy is our Elf on the Shelf who is visiting from the North Pole and taking messages back to Santa about how the children are behaving and what they want for Christmas.
She's a little genius!
I probably should somehow discourage her greediness,
but for now,it's pretty darn cute.
It's a terrible picture, but let's face it: I was taking a picture of a stranger . . . in public . . . with my iPhone . . . trying to be inconspicuous. It was unlikely that I would get a good picture. But, it could have been great!
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Critter is still rotting in a wall (according to the exterminator).
Plan to purchase candles this afternoon before the party.
Carpets are cleaned and beautiful - for now.
Maids came this morning and scoffed at how dirty the house was after I spent a week trying to whip it into shape - thankyouverymuch.
I'm freezing my fingers off at work trying to get out of here by 3:00 so I can get the house as presentable and party-ready as possible.
Wish me luck!
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
It gets worse.
Our heater went out last night. The kids huddled in front of a heater on the ground last night like we're Eskimos living in an igloo. The repairman is at the house now, but it is COLD!
When I went home for lunch, George was cold too and wanted the heater to work.
He got frustrated.
He was trying to adjust the thermostat to make the "Numbers Work!" for a long time.
Okay, I totally stole this - obviously. But it's hilarious!
Monday, December 6, 2010
We've been hard at work trying to make the house presentable to the approximately 30 ladies that will be attending.
Yesterday, we noticed a smell emanating from a wall by the Christmas tree and the kitchen.
By the end of the evening we were certain a critter of some sort had died within our wall.
The critter continues to rot.
The smell is getting worse.
The party is still supposed to be Wednesday.
What do I do?
Only I could be this unlucky.
Friday, December 3, 2010
Parenting, by the way, is a lot of work. I find myself turning back to child-rearing books to make sure that I'm not screwing this up. I mean, yeah, I'm obviously not beating my kids or starving them (although they appear to be on a hunger strike of sorts).
The problem is that there is no order in our house at all. It is basically chaos, and it appears to be bleeding into Luke's school work. The worst part is that Evie will be in school next year too and I can't imagine how I'm going to make it work. I've started looking at myself and realizing once again that work is a certain impediment to truly being able to raise my children exactly the way I want to. I don't have the time to organize Luke and Evie's drawers so that they can pick out their own clothes. Half the time I spend the morning digging through a basket of unmatched socks just so Luke will have a pair to put on his feet that day. I don't have time to create charts listing chores. I am not at home to enforce chores. Dishes get thrown in the sink after we eat our take-out meals. There is no system.
I'm not an organized person at home. I never have been and, likely, never will be. Unfortunately, I feel like I'm doing a disservice to my children by failing to give them an example of how to maintain an organized and disciplined lifestyle. This bleeds into the way I eat and the way I exercise (or rather, the way I don't exercise). Pretty much everything could be revamped so that our household flows better.
So what can I do besides change myself to be a more organized and responsible person in this facet of my life? I don't think there is anything else to do. You tell me.
Thursday, December 2, 2010
In fact, we own a karaoke machine and used to make everyone who ever visited us participate in a round of painful karaoke. More on that later. For now, I hope you all are enjoying your rounds of Christmas parties that I'm sure have already begun or will begin this weekend!
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
*sigh* Really? This is really part of parenthood? Really?
Sorry, I had to run upstairs to find out what crisis was keeping the kids from sleeping. Turns out Luke couldn't get his toenails "off his mind" so he chewed them and chewed one too much so he was crying because it hurt. Where did this child come from???? Gross.
I guess so.
My mom and Chuck's parents met her last night when everyone happened to randomly converge on the house (while I was wearing my pajamas and no makeup). Of course, she was a hit and even gave my mom a hug before she left to go back to her guest house. What luck we have.
Monday, November 29, 2010
I started my weekend a little early because my Mom, who is visiting from Houston, called me at work to tell me that she was having pain in her left shoulder and my sister (who is a nurse) said we needed to get it checked out to make sure it didn't have anything to do with her heart. So I picked her up and hauled her to an emergency care clinic where we met the nicest doctor I've ever met. He said that he thought it was probably her rotator cuff, but couldn't rule out any cardiac implications so he sent us to the emergency room, by saying "If it was my mom, I'd tell her to go to the er and make sure she's okay."
We went to the emergency room (dreading the inevitable long wait) and to our surprise, there was no one there! Not a single person. She walked right up and was ushered back for evaluation. Anyway, she was evaluated and after several hours, she went home after receiving a steroid shot which relieved her pain almost completely! We were so glad it was nothing serious.
Thursday morning, Evie woke up and her eardrum had ruptured. I took her into the pediatrician's office and they prescribed another antibiotic to replace the one she received that Monday for her ear infection. Looks like we may be headed for a third set of ear tubes. Ick.
Thursday at 11 a.m. we went to the Fort Worth Club for our Thanksgiving brunch. Thank heaven we did that this year. It was wonderful. The spread was beautiful and the food was delicious. The very best part was that we didn't have to wash a single dish after dinner.
The rest of the day was filled with football! Go Aggies!
Chuck and I tackled Black Friday by waking up at 4:30 and heading out to Walmart to pick up some extra special gifts. It wasn't too bad. We shopped until about 10:30 and were exhausted when we got home. Unfortunately, George came down with a fever that day too. Poor kid. I think he caught a rotavirus, which involves high fever, rash, and nasty pooping. (After three kids, I can actually diagnose some of this stuff without a doctor.) He seems to be better now, but he wasn't able to go with us to see the Fort Worth Parade of Lights that evening. It was probably better that way because we were out late watching the wonderful parade with our friends Aaron & Stacey and their son Eli. We went to dinner afterward and I'm pretty sure George would have been exhausted and no one would have had any fun. As it was, we had a blast despite the fact that the kids were practically asleep in their chairs during dinner. Wish I had pictures of the parade. We've lived here in Fort Worth for 13 years and we've never been. I'm pretty sure we'll be going religiously in the future!
The rest of the weekend was filled with lots of Christmas decorating. Two trees, the entire outside, the inside, poinsettias, garlands, mantles, kids' room, everything. I still have some additional things to add to the overall effect, but it was a very full FIVE days. Can you believe that? It's like a whole vacation! I loved it, but I could have done without all the illness!
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Main Character: Sir?... Sir?... Sir? [runs to man] Excuse me. I know this is your cab, but I'm desperately late for a plane, and I was wondering if I could appeal to your good nature and ask you to let me have it.
Thief: I don't have a good nature. Excuse me. Cabbie, come on.
Main Character: I'll offer you 10 dollars for it.
Thief: [scoffs] Nuh!
Main Character: Okay, 20! I'll give you 20 dollars.
Thief: I'll take 50.
Main Character: [Main Character pauses, then begins to take money out] All right.
Thief: Anyone who'd pay 50 dollars for a cab, would certainly pay 75.
Main Character: Not necessarily... [reluctantly agreeing] All right. $75. You're a thief!
Thief: Close, I'm an attorney.
Main Character: Have a happy holiday.
Thief: This'll help!
Also, the main character is one of my actors. Love his movies!
Happy Thanksgiving friends!
Here's another angle:
Monday, November 22, 2010
Well, the season ended a couple weeks ago, and Dominique sent Luke this:
Uh, yeah, he's soooo excited!
We're going to miss watching that big guy play.
He is a sweetheart!
And here are some other pics just for fun.
First one is called "Luke's Way Into The Will"
Second one is called "The Happy Couple"
(Evie has told us that she won't get married when she's older because she's already married to Walter.)
The last is called, "Cute Tushie!"
I can't help myself! It's so pinchable!
Thursday, November 18, 2010
One of the "bad" kids, Imogene Herdman, says "My God!" in the book a lot. And I mean a lot. It's pretty funny, but it feels awkward reading a book that says "My God" in it so many times to my 5 and 6 year-old kids. Still, it's not like they haven't heard that (and worse) from me and Chuck. So, last night I read this part of the story to Luke and Evie after dinner:
"... and when Mother read about there being no room at the inn, Imogene's jaw dropped and she sat up in her seat. 'My God!' she said. 'Not even for Jesus?'"
The words out of these kids' mouths are so funny. If you want to see some of the highlights, click HERE and then go get the book. It's so cute!
So, anyway, I read the bit with Imogene swearing and I thought it would be prudent to explain to Luke that she was swearing and he shouldn't say such things. He leaned close to me and said, "I know what bad word she said." He looked at me and nodded. I tipped my head to the side in question so he answered, "It was the M-word."
I furrowed my brow and wrinkled my nose, "The M-word? What is that?"
He leaned in closer with deep seriousness and whispered as quietly as he could, "mygod."
I leaned back and looked at him as he again nodded his head solemnly and I said, "Ohhh. I see. Yes, that is a bad word." I continued, "Yes, we shouldn't say that word because it is taking the Lord's name in vain."
Now, as I'm saying this to Luke, I began debating two things in my head:
- Should I explain that "mygod" is not a singular word or name, but the combination of the two words, "My" and "God", so that Luke understands exactly what the M-word is? AND
- How do I explain what "taking the Lord's name in vain" means?
I set the book down, pulled Luke close and said, "Luke, I want you to understand why the M-word is a bad word. It isn't actually one word. It is the combination of saying the word 'my' and the word 'God'. " In my head I had to start figuring out how to explain that it is okay to say "my God" in church, but not anywhere else. I continued, "When someone says 'My God' when they are upset about something it is considered to be taking the Lord's name in vain--in a bad way. We really don't want to do that so we need to not say 'My God'." I started to realize that I was saying the M-word way more than I ever do.
Luke seemed receptive to the entire explanation and at least very aware that saying the M-word was not good, even if he didn't really know what the M-word was. (Quite frankly, when I was little, I didn't know why "fuck" or "twat" were bad words, among other things. So, I guess I can't fault him for this.)
So at the end of my explanation (or at least, when Luke was finished with my explanation), Luke said, "Okay Mom. I won't say . . ." and he leaned in and whispered clearly in my ear, "mygod."
With slight resignation and the realization that my explanation rang hollow, I said, "Good Luke. That's a good idea."
So the M-word will not be said in our house and will, I think, from now on be referred to as the "M-word."
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Monday, November 15, 2010
Thursday, November 11, 2010
He asked, "Mom, do you think you're going to win?"
I sighed heavily and responded confidently, "No."
He cocked his head to the side and with sympathy and understanding in his voice he responded, "Because you're a girl?"
My eyes widened as I yelped, "WHAT? Did you really just say that?"
He looked confused.
I continued, "No! I can't believe you just said that."
He started to smile, knowing that he'd managed to rile me up, but not quite knowing how he did it.
I said, "No. Not because I'm a girl. I was thinking more because I'm OLD. You better take back the bit about me being a girl."
He smirked at me as I glanced at him in my rear view mirror.
I narrowed my eyes, "You better take it back or I'm going to get you when we get to the field." I sounded like a six-year old myself.
I sobered, "No seriously. Take it back."
He laughed some more.
He took it back before we got there, though. Good boy.
So, the Coach warned that any parent would be expected to play unless they were holding a baby. I was the only mom that showed up. The other parents that showed up were dads, and some moms just dropped their boys and bolted. Yup, I'm a sucker.
So I went out on the field to play soccer. Now let me tell you that I have played soccer in the past. I hate it. I. HATE. IT. I am not an athlete. I'm not meant to be an athlete. I will never be an athlete. Got it? So, when I was coerced to play on this co-ed soccer team many years ago, the guys on the team instructed me to stand by the goal and they would kick the ball as hard as they could at me so that it would bounce off of me and into the goal. The purpose of this is because if a girl scored a goal, the team got two points, whereas if a guy scored the goal, the team only got one point. So, I was basically like one of those parts in a pinball machine where the ball bounces off of me to go to the right spot. It hurt. It was humiliating. But I did it, because I recognize that as a stationary object I was fulfilling my maximum athletic ability.
With that said, I tried to play last night. In doing so, Luke took me on at every turn and spent a fair amount of time trying to do fake karate and punches on me. Not a whole lot of fun and I'm pretty sure not allowed in the rules of soccer. Anyhow, at one point the two of us were running after the ball together and out of instinct I grabbed his arm to keep him from getting the ball. He fell to the ground and the ball went out of bounds.
That's right, ladies and gentlemen, I took down my own six-year old son.
Then I heard the coach say, "Time out. Did everyone see what happened here?" All the boys stopped and the coach continued, "Mrs. B tripped another player." I started to giggle in embarrassment. Other than Luke, the boys were not offended by my actions. Luke, on the other hand, was pissed and crying, as he said, "You pushed me down!" I cringed and tried to slink down as small as I could get. I apologized, pulled him up off the ground and dusted him off.
Luke got to take a penalty shot because his mom fouled him. I suck.
The rest of the game, Luke defended me (continuing his karate chops) and lectured me on what I could and could not do in the game of soccer, emphasizing that I could not trip another player.
After that game I ran home, showered, and headed out to a party for one of my organizations. Let me tell you that my entire body hurts today from my athletic endeavors of the day before.
Ouch. I definitely got my comeuppance.
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
I received an email from Pottery Barn with the following Subject:
Free monogramming and shipping on select gifts and holiday decor!
** To be fair, I did just get done reading an email from a friend who was just diagnosed with breast cancer and liver cancer (all after having been "cured" of colon cancer a few years ago).
Monday, November 8, 2010
Here's a little interesting tidbit: Did you know that England changed back some time ago? I thought that everyone that was in on this "Daylight Saving" crap would actually change their clocks at the same time. Who knew? - Well, probably a lot of you out there, but not me.
Here's hoping that this week is better than last week!