Thursday, May 27, 2010

Emergency Room Drama

Almost every night after we put Luke and Evie to bed in the room that they share, one of us has to go back upstairs to tell them to stop fighting, talking, giggling, playing, etc. At first, we thought Tuesday night was no different because all of the sudden we heard Evie screaming bloody murder. I was cleaning the kitchen (don't laugh, I really was) and told Chuck that he needed to go address Evie's screaming. Chuck rushed upstairs but the crying did not stop even though it subsided somewhat. Then Luke appeared in the kitchen, looked at me with 5% of fear and 95% trepidation, and announced with a quiet shaky voice, "Mommy. Daddy needs your help. Evie has something red on her back and . . . um . . . I think it might be blood . . . and I'm a little scared."

I was already in motion as I said, "No need to worry Luke. We'll take care of it."

I was surprisingly calm as I climbed the stairs to the bathroom where Evie was standing while Chuck examined her. I saw her crying face while he was checking out the back of her head at an angle where I couldn't see it. He was also extremely calm. He looked at me and with that overemphasized warning in his voice he said for Evie's benefit, "Mommy. Come here and look at what Evie did to her head."

I stepped forward and he silently looked at me with widened eyes, and mouthed the words, "Stay calm." I stepped forward again, took a deep breath and he turned her around so I could see that there was fresh blood half way down the back of Evie's white pajama top. My eyes widened, I looked at Chuck and mouthed the words, "Oh my God." I leaned in and got an even closer look as he spread her hair to show me a cut in the middle of the back of her head. The cut was about an inch long and clearly in need of stitches even if it was just one or two. I said with a little concern but cheer in my voice, "Oh, Evie! I think we're going to have to go have a doctor look at this." She was still sobbing.

I rushed to my room to put on some clothes since I was already dressed for bed. Chuck changed her shirt (which I now believe was a tactical error) and put on the top of some Christmas pajamas. (We got a surprising number of comments from the hospital staff about her mismatched outfit - guess we need to dress her up next time). Chuck also changed clothes while I took Evie downstairs. I let Lindsey know that we had to go to the emergency room and asked her to watch the other two kids (who were not asleep yet). She sweetly agreed and the three of us (Evie, Chuck, and I) piled into Lulu and made our way to Cooks Children's Hospital - just a few minutes from our house.

First, let me say that people at this hospital were friendly, helpful, kind, considerate, concerned, and most of all, capable. I walked Evie into the hospital while Chuck parked the car. We were greeted by a very handsome doctor (McDreamy, McSteamy, whatever you want to Mc-call him) who examined Evie's head, put a blue sticker on her, and told us to have a seat in the very crowded waiting room. She was no longer crying and mostly just sat on our lap and played on my iPhone.

Not a great picture, but give me a break - we were at the hospital.

Sometime during the next two hours Evie was examined and her vitals were taken. We registered and provided our insurance information and ER deductible. And then we were finally ushered back to our first of two hospital rooms.

**I maintain that if she had worn her blood-soaked shirt to the hospital we may have gotten more prompt attention. Lesson learned.**

Our first room consisted of three folding chairs in the middle of a white hallway with a piece of paper hung above our chairs that read, "Room #65". (Again, I'm not kidding or exaggerating). There were several other "rooms" in that same hallway. A male nurse examined Evie's head and disappeared to get some numbing stuff. He reappeared and a doctor (also young and handsome) appeared and examined the cut. The doctor said that they could just put it back together with staples. He said they could do stitches but they would have to shave her hair for stitches so they thought staples would be better. The nurse grabbed a cotton ball with numbing agent and strapped it to her head in anticipation of the staples. This is what she looked like.

By this time it was well past 11 p.m. and she had fallen asleep on me while we waited. We had to wake her up for the examination and she was very cranky. I completely understand her point of view.

About 20 minutes later we were ushered into an actual room that contained 4-6 curtained areas - and we got one of the coveted curtained areas.

This is after they removed the numbing agent,
but before they did the staples.

We hung out for just a little while longer and our male nurse came in. Chuck held Evie while the nurse cleaned her cut (and she screamed) and then applied two staples (and she continued to scream). My stomach turned as I watched, but I managed to hold myself together. (I can't believe I ever considered nursing as a career). Then we were discharged with simple instructions.

3 1/2 hours after arriving at the hospital, we finally headed home -- exhausted, but well.

Evie is feeling fine now. We are going to wash the dried blood out of her hair today and then we'll have the stitches removed in 9 days. All is well, and now we know the ropes of the ER. Yay for us.

Oh yeah, how did it happen? We still aren't sure. She tells the same story to everyone. When Chuck went up to the room she was sobbing. He asked her to tell him what was wrong and she said something like, "Luke did ____, and then he told me I had something red on my back." Chuck turned her around and saw all the blood at that point. Then you know the rest. Then later, we kept asking her what happened and she maintains that she fell out of bed and hit the wall. There's no way she got a cut like that from hitting the wall. We think she must have it the little bedside table in between their beds. There are drops of blood on the carpet and on her bed by the little table. We're still not sure. She told Grandma the same story. So, at least she's sticking to her story. We may never know.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

First Trip to the Emergency Room

People watching at the emergency room is so fascinating. Of course, I was stuck as a captive audience while we waited more than 2 hours just to see a doctor.

Details to follow later.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Another cute baby . . .


Nope, I'm not pregnant, if that's what you were thinking.

You know how I think George is absolutely one of the most adorable babies in the whole world?

Plus he likes champagne.

Seriously, he has to be in the top 10, right?

Well, I'm addicted to another little boy that I've never even met. (Don't tell George.) You can see a picture of him by clicking here. (His sister is adorable too! Plus, his mom is a photographer, so she knows how to show off his cuteness in pictures.)

Now, don't go getting all attached to Zane; George is still the cutest.

Okay, maybe it's a tie simply because George is too darn cute in this picture. (otherwise, Zane would win hands down!)

Monday, May 24, 2010

Speaking of Chuck Said . . .

Busy. So busy. Luckily, Chuck is still opening his mouth on a daily basis, so there will be more posts on Chuck Said. Enjoy.

And then there's what "Luke Said" - following in his father's footsteps.

The kids spent yesterday evening in the pool, then we cooked burgers and hotdogs. The kids were whipped. Remember that feeling of complete exhaustion after you spent a day outside in the sun and water? It's a good tired. So Luke practically fell asleep sitting on the backyard deck waiting for me to cook his nutritious hotdog and Lays potato chips. (You can all praise my culinary expertise later). I quickly ushered them up to the bathtub so that I could get them into bed.

I had all three in the tub - an accomplishment to be sure. I worked my way down the line -- soap, scrub, wash, rinse, repeat. As I scrubbed Luke, he suddenly whined that I had washed a scrape on his knee. I paused, looked at it for a moment and determine no harm was done. He disagreed and after I moved on to wash Evie's legs, I heard him say firmly with disgust, "Dammit."

Me, "What did you say?"

Luke, "Dammit."

Me, "Don't say that. That's an adult word. Only adults can say it."

Luke, "Why can only adults say 'dammit'?"

I said "dammit" in my head before responding, "Because it is an adult word. Who have you heard say this word?"

He looked at me hesitantly believing this to be a trap, then he said, "Daddy."

Me, "Okay. Who else?"

With even more hesitation, "You?"

Me, "Yes. Who else?"

He shrugged.

Me, "Have you heard any kids say that word?"

Luke, "No."

Me, "See. That's because it's an adult word. So, don't say it."

I felt very proud of my logical argument and I moved back to washing Evie's legs.

Evie looked at me and said, "Mama?"

I smiled at her, "Yes?"

Evie, "I never say 'dammit'."

I cringed and sighed, "That's good."

She looked with disdain upon Luke and said, "I say 'dammit' zero times."

Me, "That's enough."

I finished up her legs and moved on to George and prepared myself for him to accurately and clearly say "dammit" even though he still doesn't call me Mommy. But, it would be my luck, right? Instead he splashed water in my face. I think I would have rather had him say "dammit."

Friday, May 21, 2010


My sister Mary lives in London.


She is coming to visit me this weekend!


How lucky am I?!?

Thursday, May 20, 2010

I Wish I had Invented This

Looking for a unique wedding gift or anniversary present?

Check out the Better Marriage Blanket.

I can't wait until Luke discovers this!

For only $29.95, it is advertised to:

Completely & Quickly Absorbs The Odor Of Flatulence
  • A real solution to a very real problem
  • Contains the same type of fabric used by the military to protect against chemical weapons
  • Even works on top of bed sheets
  • Makes a great wedding or anniversary gift too

Joys of Boys

Not really sure this needs an explanation.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Kids Never Cease to Amaze Me


Plus This.

Equals This.

Not sure how I'm going to get those down.
They stayed there all night.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

His little fettish.

George likes his bottle (sippy cup, but I call it a bottle). He will keep that thing in his mouth while he walks around playing, dancing, chasing the dogs, laying down, watching tv, climbing the stairs (with my supervision), going to the car, walking into school - just about anywhere we let him have it.

If it is empty, we take it away of course. But there is one thing that George will drop his bottle for without a second's hesitation. Can you guess what it is?

Not food.

Not a blanket.

Not a favorite stuffed animal.

Not his mommy.

Not his daddy.

Not Lindsey.

Not his brother.

Not his sister.

Not the dogs.

Not a toy.

Just . . . a toothbrush.

Monday, May 17, 2010


The kids and I played a Curious George game yesterday.

At several moments during the game you have to put on an animal mask and go play hide and seek.

Sometimes, the kids just wore their masks during the game for fun. It is beyond precious!

Sorry for the poor quality of the pictures. I was using my iPhone.

George also found some empty bottles of beer and tried to suck the last few drops out.

He really likes beer.

And then, seriously, how cute is he?

He was in such a great mood this weekend. It was a joy to be with him.

P.S. There are new posts on Chuck Said.

Friday, May 14, 2010

Meetings and Art

I've had too many meetings lately. I was home Monday night and then I had meetings Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday night. I'm really missing my babies. And Lindsey is really getting sick of my babies. Bless her. Luckily, we're going to be home tonight and I can love on my little ones, even though they're certain to be rotten. Love them so much!

By the way, I've been meaning to brag on Lindsey for a while now. She took a drawing class this semester. Her last class was Monday night. Turns out, she's a brilliant artist! Here are just a couple of her drawings. She also did an amazing drawing of Lola, but I can't find it. I'll have to show it to all of you later.

Damn. This one turned out fuzzy. Take my word for it, it's amazing!

Thursday, May 13, 2010


Have you heard of Greyson Michael Chance?????

Click here and find out about him.

Spent 20 minutes watching this video over and over this morning. Can't wait for a record deal to come through for him so I can listen all the time. Unfortunately, he's in 6th grade, so it's a bit icky (and illegal) to consider becoming a groupie. Good luck to all the tweens out there!

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

The Criminal District Attorney Replies

Remember the post where I blasted the Criminal District Attorney for sending me a letter relating to my kindergartener's excessive unexcused tardies in which I was ordered to attend a meeting where they lock the doors and subject me to a lecture on the virtues of attending school and ask if we need counseling?

Well, click here if you need to catch up.

Is everyone caught up now? Good.

So what I didn't tell you is that I happen to know the Criminal District Attorney and about a week after I posted about the letter, I happened to sit right next to him at a dinner function. I jokingly mentioned to him that I had received a letter from him about my gangster kindergartener who was excessively tardy. He took quite an interest and explained how the school's computer system automatically generates a list of unexcused absences and sends that to the assistant DA who then sends out those letters. He said there was quite a rumbling about the increased letters being sent to students at Luke's school. I was interested in that, and he explained that it had more to do with our new principal than with the DA's office. I accepted it, and we all - the entire table - laughed and made jokes throughout the evening about the delinquency of my kindergartener and how dangerous Luke's school is (which is widely-known to be one of the best schools in the area).

That conversation took place about a month ago and I didn't see the Criminal District Attorney again until we met at the same group function this month. The dinner was last night and he sought me out specifically to tell me what I had started. He told me that after our dinner last month he decided to look into the matter. He got a copy of the letter and was upset to find out how harsh the wording was and that it had been placed on his letterhead. Then an assistant DA who has a child in Luke's school received the same letter this month and when her husband attended the meeting he took pictures with his iPhone of all the delinquent thugs he had to attend the meeting with. Well, the Criminal DA decided to go undercover and attend one of the meetings wearing a hat pulled low so that no one would recognize him. He wanted to get there right on time so he went to the doors at 6:15, but apparently it was 6:16 according to the people who ran the meeting and they locked the doors on him. He was livid.

So, my understanding is that he is pissed off with the way this is being handled and there will be changes in the system. I can't emphasize how mad he was, and it isn't really my place to tell you all the stuff he told me he was going to tell his assistant DA that's in charge of this process, but my favorite part was when he confronted her about kindergarteners being thrown into the same room as all these gangster thugs. She responded that attendance is of utmost importance and the delinquency starts in kindergarten. (Can you see me rolling my eyes?) Needless to say, he didn't buy it. I told him it was like using a bazooka to kill a mosquito. He heartily agreed, and thanked me for bringing the situation to his attention. He ended the conversation shaking his head and saying, "I just wanted to you to know what you started." I can't tell if that is good or bad, but I'm going to take it as good.

So, without any intention of changing the system, it appears that the system may be altered. All of you FWISD people can thank me now.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Guess what's inside the bag.

I'll buy a drink for the first person who guesses correctly.

Idyllic Thoughts

I don't know if it is the impending summer or the fact that it is gorgeous outside (and by "gorgeous" I mean rainy and dreary), but I'm really wishing I could be at home with my kids right now. I know they're busy and I tell myself that they don't miss me or want me there, but I can't help that I really want to be there. I want to take them to the zoo and the park and to get ice cream. I'm having one of those sentimental days where work is not my favorite thing to be doing.

I'm picturing myself in a tennis outfit (20 pounds lighter and a total MILF) picking up the kids at school and helping them with their homework. Of course, that is the idyllic view of how I imagine it would be, but in real life I'd be arguing with the kids to get their homework done, stop making a mess, and asking them over and over again whether they remembered to flush the toilet and wash their hands. Still, it sounds pretty perfect right about now. I'd gladly exchange my business suit and high heels for jeans and some tennis shoes.

Monday, May 10, 2010

I met Francis in Arkansas

I spent the weekend in BFE, Arkansas. Yes, it was pretty - not beautiful - just pretty. I despise driving anywhere now that I have kids. It's a permanent pain in my ass. At least we have the mini van which makes things as convenient as they could possibly be. We have a DVD player and the kids can watch whatever they want, but six freakin' hours in the car is a bit much for all of us, and George is the most vocal about his dislike of the car. Nonetheless, it is still always nice to see family, right?

Some highlights from my trip include these vista shots from my jog on Saturday morning.

Quite beautiful, although I swear I felt like Snow White because little bits of wildlife kept startling me as they hopped out from bushes on my left and right. Some of the rustling was from unknown creatures, but my favorite creature, the one I can't get enough of and continue to look back at was the frog affectionately named (by me) Francis the Frog aka Frank the Tank. I was at the end of my jog down the rural roads where Chuck's parents live when I caught a glimpse of something crawling along through the ditch. At first, I thought it was a rat and I stepped back, but when I got a better look, it turns out it was a frog. A GIANT ASS FROG!

You're thinking, "Geez, Theresa. It doesn't look that big."
And I would respond, "No! It's totally GINORMOUS!!!! The photo doesn't do it justice!"

I still can't get over it and I'm sure I can't possibly explain how freaking HUGE this thing was. I spent fifteen minutes crouched on the side of the road talking to this thing! I tried to find a piece of litter nearby that I could get in the picture so you could get a frame of reference, but there was nothing available except a vacuum cleaner attachment. I'm not sure why, because I had seen Bush Beer cans or empty packs of Pall Mall strewn along the side of the road every fifty feet until I discovered Francis and then there was nothing. Click here to see the video footage I took of Francis. Un-freakin-believable!

Francis's body would just barely fit on a standard sheet of 8 1/2" by 11" paper.

There is nothing like a trip to Arkansas. Two of the highlights of our drive include stopping on a rural road to honk at some dogs that were socializing in the middle of the road. Chuck honked his horn to get them to move, but they just looked at us like we had intruded onto private property and we ended up driving around them! My second favorite was when we had to stop while some people loaded a mattress onto their truck because it had apparently fallen out in transit. In case you couldn't tell, I'm a city girl, and this stuff boggles my mind!

But on a more serious note, it was a nice trip with plenty of cool sunshine, perky wildflowers, and loving mother's day hugs from my little ones.

Friday, May 7, 2010

Chuck Said

Today I am introducing a new blog. That's right. Looking for some kind of variety? Well then navigate over to Chuck Said. He says a lot of crap and most of it cracks me up. It may not crack you up, and it may sometimes be something that needs explaining or context to understand why it is funny, but I've decided that I can't keep him to myself anymore. So go enjoy the very first post on Chuck Said.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Luke and School

Yesterday, like every day, I asked Luke, "How was your day at school?"

His typical answer is a shoulder shrug and the word "Good" or if he is eating he'll just give me a thumbs up signal.

Yesterday was special because I received the following email from his teacher with the subject line simply stating "Luke":

Wow! I just wanted to send you a big compliment on Luke! He has finished his work in a timely manner. I have changed his seating arrangement to the teacher table so there is no one sitting there and he has been able to focus on his work. I’m so proud of him!

To which I responded as follows:

Whew! I saw the subject line and though, "Uh oh."

I'm so pleased to hear that he's doing well. We've been working on it, but he really does seem to do better if there are no distractions around him. Thank you so much for helping him accomplish this goal! And thank you for the update!

So, Luke and I also discussed this little golden nugget of information and he beamed his happiness as he said, "I'm going to finish all my work everyday because Mrs. A is so proud of me when I do."

Me, "I'm proud of you too!"

Luke smugly stated, "Guess what Mom." He paused and I looked up before he continued, "Mrs. A says she's proud of me and the whole rest of the class thinks she's talking to them, but she's really talking to me."

I raised my eyebrows and thought to myself, "Shit! He thinks he's the center of her world. Ugh." Instead of asking more about that, I simply said, "Hmm." Surely it can't hurt to let him continue thinking that Mrs. A only has eyes for him, right?

I changed the subject and asked, "So what did you learn at school today?"

Luke got excited, "Let me tell you, Mom." He prefaces everything like this. "Today we learned about beavers!"

I held my breath, waiting for the punch line.

He continued, "They eat bdoigh."

I squinted my eyes, "They eat what?"

"They eat wood."

I sigh in relief, "Oh." In my head, "Thank God."

He's getting big.

All Grown Up

(and breaking my heart)

P.S. I know some people (*cough* Chuck! *cough*) think that I post too many embarrassing things about my children on this blog. So, I want you all to know that I refrained from posting a pretty embarrassing photo of Luke today.

It was hilarious,
AND even though he is only 6,
AND he and his friends will not see this blog,
AND he was fully clothed,
AND the picture had nothing to do with his private parts . . .
I still thought it was too embarrassing to post.

He can thank me later.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Movie Quote 60

Time for another movie quote, don't ya' think?

So here it is. It's a NEW movie, so hopefully you've seen it. I've only seen it once, but since then I've shouted this to Luke every day when I drop him off at school.

Learn something!

And, in case that isn't enough for you (and I would understand why it wouldn't be), here's another quote from the same movie just to give you a leg up.

Michael, I want you to have a good time but if you get a girl pregnant out of wedlock, I will crawl into the car, drive up to Oxford and cut off your penis.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010


Chuck loaded all the kids in the car Sunday night to drive home from a late evening with friends. As he started toward home, Evie said, "Daddy! Look there are wishing stars in the sky!"

Chuck said, "Yes, Evie. There are."

Evie, "Can we make a wish?"

Chuck, "Of course."

It was quiet for a minute.

Chuck asked her, "What did you wish for, Evie?"

Evie, "I can't tell you, or it won't come true."

Chuck gave a chuckle, "Oh, okay."

About five minutes later Evie quietly asked, "Daddy?"

Chuck, "Yes, sweetheart?"

Evie asked with a sigh, "Why don't wishes ever work?"

Being the sweet dad that he is, Chuck answered with sympathy, "Wishes take time."

My heart frowned when I heard this story. (I was driving home from Houston when this happened, so Chuck had to tell me the story.) What a sweet, precious girl. I truly hope her wishes come true someday day. But I'm guessing that her wishes currently consist of her asking for something like a Barbie or a pizza and she is disappointed when her request doesn't just appear out of thin air. Bless her little heart.

** Forgot to mention that Evie was officially kicked out of swim lessons yesterday. Guess we'll try again next year.**

Monday, May 3, 2010

Mayfest 2010

This weekend we went to Mayfest - a huge festival in Fort Worth. It's really just down the street from us and we've never been. (Sacrilege to most Fort Worth residents)

Luckily, I am friends with one of the main coordinators and she encouraged us to go and even let us use her family tickets. How sweet was that? We took the whole family and had a great time. We weren't really sure what to expect, but it was really geared toward entertaining the kids and adults at the same time. There were lots of bands, shows, shops, activities, food stands, and various vendors. Plus it takes place in a huge park with several different sets of playground equipment so the kids are always entertained.

They even have this cute board where the kids can measure themselves every year. I thought that was super clever and subjected the kids to pictures.

Not sure Luke understood the exercise.

The kids tackled the first bounce house/obstacle course they came across. You can see them at the top.

Meanwhile, George wandered away from us. I hate this age. He wants to go everywhere by himself.

He totally thinks he's as big as the other kids (and us).

We also got to meet Borden's Elsie the Cow and her little calf. The kids got to pet the calf. Elsie apparently got loose that afternoon and there were helicopters and news crews all over the place. Here's the news report with video. So funny! It took hours before they were able to catch her. I didn't realize cows were difficult to catch. Guess that's the city girl in me. A mounted policeman finally lassoed her.

We spent a few minutes watching a little girls dance team performing dance routines. The girls were cute and the kids were fascinated watching them, but I couldn't take my eyes off of this sweet sight.

This is, without a doubt, the sweetest thing about siblings.

Then we wandered over to watch a show with dogs catching frisbees.

This was incredible.
You can tell by Luke's face.

Cracking me up. He looked like this when he saw the stuff on that I caught on this video and this video. (These videos are a little loud, so beware.) These dogs were incredible.

And, again, my children were sweet.

We finished out the evening with a romp in the playground . . .

. . . and Luke playing air guitar as we passed by a rock band playing in the park. He's in front of a beer sign because we're classy that way. This kid cracks me up.

The night was nice. We'll definitely go again next year.