Monday, April 5, 2010

Dear Criminal District Attorney,

Thank you so much for the letter I received on April 1st, officially confirming my title as the Worst Mom of the Year. I thought this was a great April Fool's joke when I received the letter from you explaining to me that you are "requesting" a meeting with me and my son Luke because he has had three or more unexcused absences, tardies or early dismissals. Unfortunately, I realized this letter was not a joke when I noticed that the opposite side of the letter had the contents translated into Spanish for my convenience. (Thanks, but I'm not bilingual.)


Most importantly, I appreciate you consulting my schedule before you dictated that I should show up at the school district's "Field House" for a meeting that will begin "promptly at 6:15 p.m." I'm not sure how you knew that I already had another meeting scheduled for that date and time, that my au pair would be in class, and that my husband would have to leave work early simply to get there on time. But the best part of all was the promise that the doors will be locked when the meeting begins. I'm certain that I would have tried to escape otherwise, since I'm sure to be there with all the other gang members and their parents who will be pleading with you to forgive such negligent absences, tardies or early dismissals. With that said, I think you should know in advance that Luke will not be there. Nope, my Kindergarten gangster will not be pleading for your mercy.


Instead, you'll see the spouse of The Worst Mom Of the Year, and he'll be wondering how it is that Luke apparently has had 11 tardies and 1 unexcused absence, but we never received any notification that he was being counted as tardy until we received your pleasant note just the other day. How kind of you to not bother us with any pesky warnings or messages letting us know that Luke was on the verge of being in trouble with the law. I truly appreciate it since my time is at a premium. Lucky for me, all I have to do is clear my schedule, juggle my kids, and attend a last minute meeting with all the truly delinquent thugs in the school district.

Thanks again for all this fun, and for securely pushing me forward as the front runner for the title "Worst Mom of the Year." You're simply the best.

Hugs and Kisses,

The Professional Mother aka Worst Mom of the Year

8 comments:

Lawgirl said...

Yikes!! What a load of crap. And I love it when people treat attorneys that way, if only for the ass-kicking by English language they're going to receive.

And you're not the worst mother of the year. Far from it.

If there's any doubt, I mean, just think about Britney.

Joan said...

I think I would have a fit if the school district left it to this point to notify me of my child's attendance issues. And the teacher and I would have a definite unpleasant meeting to start.
You are not a bad mother, you do have a crappy school district attendance policy that prohibits early notification of attendance issues!

Theresa said...

Thanks Lawgirl! What was I thinking? I forgot all about Britney!

Mom said...

Unbelievable. I thought it was strange when a notification was sent on the phone telling us that Luke had an unexcused absence when he was sick even though I had called the school and let them know. I have never had an experience like that in all the schools my children have attended.

Allison said...

WOW! We don't even send a letter from the district until you have 8 absences in a semester. As far as I know there is no penalty for tardies. They really want their money for attendance. At our school a parent note counts as an excused absence. I say don't go at all. They are full of crap. Just call the school and ask what time the tardy bell rings. As long as he is there before that there shouldn't be any problem.

The Potters said...

Is this a joke? Is the DA for real? It's disgusting to me that they'd even waste their time (and yours and Chuck's) on this without any prior notice and for a kindergartner when we actually have criminals in this city. Shame on them! (But I do feel bad for the attorney that has to do truancy meetings with 5-year old's parents...how embarrassing for them!)

And you aren't the worst mother of the year!!!!! You're one of the best!

The Potters said...

P.S. You should bill them for the hour that you or Chuck are there. I'm sure they'd appreciate a $250 charge for your time...

Allison said...

AND I don't think Kindergarten is mandatory in Texas. They should be glad you are bringing him at all.