Cassie! That marker in your mouth, I peed on it!
Anyone? Here's another one, just in case you need it:
You were my friend, Darryl. You were my best friend. We grew up together, we rode bikes together, we used to smell each others hands. But now you're sleeping with my mom and it's a little bit weird for me. Can you appreciate that?
Man, I'm cracking up just reading this!