I'd like to take this moment to officially apologize to my husband and my children for bringing my lack of athleticism to the family. It is truly unfortunate that my children have inherited my ability to run like a girl, inability to catch a ball, severe handicap with golfing, lack of a competitive drive when it comes to team sports, and a general aversion to sports in general. I will admit that we have hope for George, but the other two are lost already. I can assure you that Luke and Evie have no natural ability to run. Their arms are held into their chests and they vigorously and purposely pump them as they run, making them look like the orphans from the musical Annie that somehow ended up wandering the soccer fields. At any moment during the soccer games, I expect them to start pumping their arms and singing It's a Hard Knock Life. Can anyone picture this, or is it just me?
Anyway, I just think it is a sad state of affairs that my children will be deprived of any sort of popularity or college scholarship due to their ridiculous lack of athletic ability. So, for that reason, and for the reason that my husband will watch brokenhearted as our children never score a goal or hit a homer, I apologize. It is all my doing. I promise to make up for it with a full education on how to watch sports and athletics.