Oh, be still my aching heart. I was browsing through my blog today to find some old Valentine's pictures of the kids when I came across this post: http://www.professionalmother.blogspot.com/2010/02/heavy-heart.html. It's about my kids not being perfect. And oh, honey, can I tell you that what they were five years ago is what they are still today. Luke still doesn't finish his homework and Evie is super smart but can't remember her phone number or address. But, they are precious and wonderful and all mine. And they will grow up and they will be good people.
And for all those other mamas out there who question whether staying home will help, I can definitively answer: NO. Doing your best by your child is all you can do. This post makes my heart ache even more because I was/am that woman who struggled so much and wrestled with the idea that her kids could be better, smarter, happier, if only she had stayed home to spend more time with them. No. Just no. Please, please, please don't torture yourselves the way I did. Of course, I know that my little bits of advice will be ignored by anyone who comes after me. Every child is special. Every parenting experience is unique. And so, we, as parents, will torture ourselves with worry and doubt as we turn each corner of this journey. Nonetheless, this is a healthy reminder of what my law partner said to me yesterday, "Kids grow up in spite of their parents." Yes, yes they do.