Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Scratching that Itch

Apparently, men just have a need to touch themselves. I don't understand it and I don't like it. In fact, it drives me crazy! None of my private parts are in need of constant adjusting, touching, or scratching. How is it that those men cannot keep their hands off themselves? I've argued for years with Chuck about this and his answer is that "Sometimes, they just have to be touched." I give him my you-are-full-of-shit face and roll my eyes. Because, really, if they just have to be touched, then why is it that men can avoid adjusting and scratching themselves in public (for the most part)? I just don't get it.

Last night, Luke was holding himself and appeared to be doing the pee-pee dance while I was making dinner. I looked at him with exasperation and said, "Luke, go pee." My emphasis was on the word "pee" because it was obvious to me that anytime a boy is holding himself, he must have to go pee. Well, I was wrong. Luke casually said, "No, Mom. I don't have to pee. My penis just itches." He then proceeded to give it a good, deep scratch and went back to his business. Cringing by the display, and with my mouth agape, I just said with confusion, "Oh." I went back to making dinner, letting it sink in that Luke had just proven Chuck's point. Damn it. I lose again.


Joan said...

I don't get it either. And then there is the nudist thing that guys have. I don't get that either.
And the thing about not wearing shoes - wait, that is just me, sorry.

Mary said...

We don't really have this problem in our house - even with Richard. I am not convinced the nudist thing extends to all guys either. I get not wearing shoes - mine come off as soon as I am indoors.

Theresa said...

What do you mean "even with Richard?" Isn't he the only guy in your house? I was about to say the same thing about the nudist thing, but then I thought of that movie Failure to Launch where the dad has his own naked room and thought it must be a pretty wide spread desire for men even if it doesn't apply to all of them.

lisawitt said...

hahahaha! yeah, i think its just a boy thing! we let z run around naked alot since he seem to prefer it and he just loves to touch it! so weird! LOL!