Scratching that Itch

Apparently, men just have a need to touch themselves. I don't understand it and I don't like it. In fact, it drives me crazy! None of my private parts are in need of constant adjusting, touching, or scratching. How is it that those men cannot keep their hands off themselves? I've argued for years with Chuck about this and his answer is that "Sometimes, they just have to be touched." I give him my you-are-full-of-shit face and roll my eyes. Because, really, if they just have to be touched, then why is it that men can avoid adjusting and scratching themselves in public (for the most part)? I just don't get it.

Last night, Luke was holding himself and appeared to be doing the pee-pee dance while I was making dinner. I looked at him with exasperation and said, "Luke, go pee." My emphasis was on the word "pee" because it was obvious to me that anytime a boy is holding himself, he must have to go pee. Well, I was wrong. Luke casually said, "No, Mom. I don't have to pee. My penis just itches." He then proceeded to give it a good, deep scratch and went back to his business. Cringing by the display, and with my mouth agape, I just said with confusion, "Oh." I went back to making dinner, letting it sink in that Luke had just proven Chuck's point. Damn it. I lose again.