True to my word, I stuffed my face all weekend and consumed plenty of wine. It was wonderful. But, also true to my word, I've gone back to a "normal" lifestyle which includes a moderate diet of high protein, lean meats and cheese which will edge into vitamin rich vegetables next week. I'm looking forward to cleansing my body - not a true cleanse or anything like that -- I don't have that much free time to spend in the restroom, if you know what I mean. Yuck.
I even started the week off right by going to Smart Barre and allowing sweet, patient Allison to try to contort my body into the right poses for maximum muscle toning. I'll admit that it is a challenge to keep my hips "square" while doing leg lifts in the most awkward positions which includes, in Allison's words, "lift your leg like you're peeing like a dog." Still, I try and I try not to feel overly self-conscious while Allison twists my hips and pushes in my jiggly tummy. No lie. It's a hands-on job she's got there. I'm always hoping she can't smell the sweaty odor that is emminating from my stinky, sweaty body, but I know I'm just kidding myself. But, I guess that's what she gets paid the big bucks for, right?
Even though she is physically adjusting my body (which I think she avoids at all costs based on the fear of being mentioned in this blog -- go figure), the problem is that my muscles really are tightening, but it's difficult to see because they are hiding under a couple layers of fat. She would move me and say, "Does it feel different?"
Panting and unable to speak because of the effort I'm expending trying to hold up my bulbous body in a contorted figure, I just shake my head no and grunt.
She tells me to push my hips forward and tries to help me. I'm pretty sure those hips are not going anywhere, but who am I to question the expert right? I'll keep going and just concentrate on trying to find the perfect uncomfortable position that maximizes the burn and just pray that Allison doesn't have to get too close to my smelly body on too many occasions. (I'm pretty sure that could ruin a friendship.) And hopefully one day, this renewed sense of healthy eating will help reveal the six-pack abs and rock-hard butt muscles that I know must be hiding in there somewhere. Or, maybe I'm just dreaming and trying to convince myself that I'm in good health even though I'm not. Either way, I feel like today is a good day! I hope you all have a good day today too.