Today I am going to attend my first AA meeting for fat people. Yes, I'm joining weight watchers - WW. Yes, it is embarrassing. But, yes, it is time. I'm going to stand up at the meeting and say, "Hi. My name is Theresa and I'm fat." All the other fat people will clap for me and say hi. No, they don't actually do that at WW meetings, but I know I'm going to feel that conspicuous. I'm sure I'll be trying to sneak in the door keeping my head down so that no one sees me. I picture myself slouching my way up to the person in charge of the meeting where she will ask to get my weight. The scale will groan with protest as I climb on it to find out just how much of a fat ass I am. And I will probably cry just a little until I realize that I had a lot of fun putting all those pounds on in the last year, and then I will just accept it and focus on what lies ahead. Today is day number 1.
You all better help me through this.
**UPDATE**Well, thanks to all of you for your kind words, but I'm bigger than I've EVER been (except when pregnant) and I need to get back into all the nice clothes I spent money on. I'm going to do it! I went to the meeting today downtown and it was . . . [pause] . . . okay. I felt a bit like a kindergartner. There was actually a woman with a flippy easel paper thingy with a drawing of a woman with a person on her shoulder on it. She asked us somewhat condescendingly, "What do you think this picture means?" I almost turned looked over my shoulder to see if there was a group of five-year-old kids in the room, but when I realized she was looking at me, I raised my eyebrows and thought, "Oh. My. God. What the hell have I gotten into?" To top it off, the meeting was in the basement of an old church building (no complaints there), but the smell reminded me of my pre-school days in an old church building - a combination of mustiness and stale coffee. Really, it was fine, and I got my weight recorded. They have these clever little scales that only allow the person behind the desk to see your weight. And praise Jesus, they don't announce your weight to the crowd or proudly proclaim, "Geez, girl, you lost two pounds - only 50 more to go!" Nope, that part was rather comforting because it is all hush, hush. I'll keep y'all posted. In conjunction I'm starting P90X - which is just plain ridiculous, but I'm going to give it a go. Lindsey is doing that with me. Should be interesting. Y'all keep pushing me and holding me accountable. My goal is to look good for the beach on Memorial Day!