Private Parts: Part 3

Shit - I lost an entire post. That pisses me off.

So, we've been talking to our friends, family, and co workers about this issue we're having regarding Luke and Evie's recent questions and facination with private parts and we're coming up with some interesting answers.

To my great relieve, Luke's teacher (Ms. D) assured me that Luke does not talk about or touch his penis at school. Thank Heaven! She did admit that her kids went through the same phase and it is totally normal. She said her daughter was acutally worse than her son (when they were both around Evie and Luke's ages). Ms. D said her daughter would touch her hoohah (aka vagina) for comfort - almost like having a favorite blanket or binkie. (yeah, I think this is weird too, but I can't throw stones because one of my kids might start doing it too). So, Ms. D said that whenever her daughter would put her hand down her pants, Ms. D would send her little girl to her room and whenever she was done doing whatever she could come out. This was, of course, never meant as a punishment. Ms. D just said that if her daughter was going to do that then she had to do it in private. Ms. D encouraged me to tell Luke that his penis is private. Interesting - but we're always in private when Luke talks about it, and I'm not ready for him to announce something about his penis in the middle of church just so I can emphasize that his penis is a private matter.

A couple we know and love (who shall remain unidentified) has a daughter Evie's age who sucks her thumb and rubs her nipple (all at the same time) for comfort. They asked the doctor about it and the doctor didn't seem concerned at all. Frankly, if the doctor isn't concerned then I wouldn't be either, although I totally understand their distress. At least Luke doesn't constantly have his hand down his pants.

Chuck was talking to one of his coworkers about Luke and Evie's facination and told her the story about Luke asking what happened to Evie's penis. Chuck's coworker told him that when her son and daughter were Luke and Evie's age, her daughter asked what happened to her penis since she saw that her brother had one. The mother explained that little girls don't have penises. Her daughter then announced that instead of a penis she had a "front butt" and a "back butt." God bless their little souls, I can't believe some of the stuff little kids come up with, but I guess it makes sense. I could see how a little girl's hoohah could look like a front butt, can't you?

I guess, it isn't just boys (little and big) who are obsessed with their private parts, although I think it is more prevalent among boys.

A coworker of mine said his mom was constantly getting after him and his brother to stop touching themselves. He said boys are just like that. I guess it's true, and now I have little George to contend with.

And of course, there are still those adult men out there who touch themselves in public without even realizing they are doing it. How in the world do they get this far without someone saying something to them? I have no idea what the deal is, but some men just never stop touching themselves everywhere and anywhere. Maybe they need new underwear. Maybe they have jock itch. Whatever it is, they've got to stop touching themselves! I see men adjusting themselves obviously while they're running, in the elevator, in the office, at a happy hour, in a deposition, standing over my shoulder, at church, in line at the movie theater, or really just about anywhere. You name it - they do it! Lord knows that we women aren't constantly reaching down to adjust our boobs or our hoohahs.

Back to the kids. The most recent incident regarding private parts at our house took place a week ago when my mother (Ike Refugee) was in town and planning to watch the kids. I came downstairs fully dressed for work and was sitting on the couch chatting with my mom about her plans for the day. Evie crawled up on my lap, patted my chest and interrupted with, "Mommy, your nipples are bi-hiiig!" I said, "Thank you, Evie. That's enough." and I removed her hand. I looked up at my chuckling mother and said, "See what I mean? That came out of nowhere!" Dear mother had no wise words to address the matter. I'm starting to realize that Evie has not distinguished between a nipple and the entire breast. Still, most of you know that I'm not well endowed at all, so if she is telling me my nipples are big (meaning my breasts) then what in the world is she telling her new teacher who has enormous breasts?!? And, do I ask the teacher, "Hey, Ms. C, has Evie mentioned anything about your nipples lately?" I'd like to nip this thing in the bud (no pun intended), but I'm not sure how to address her teacher's private parts. Some of you reading this are teachers. Any of you experience this? What would you want the parent to say?