Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Mom Brand Jeans

So, I am a mom now and my figure has never returned to what it was before I gave birth. I know I'm not alone in this situation, but somehow I feel completely isolated in this depressing state. I know too many moms who went directly back to their petite little bodies right after popping out a kid or two. Well, I was able to get into some things right after the birth of my children, but there are other items of clothing that I have completely given up on, including swimsuits and jeans.

Now, I know I'm not fat or obese, so don't go chastizing me for complaining about that. I know I don't look like Roseanne Barr or Kirsti Alley (pre or post Jenny Craig); however, I'm certainly not the moderately toned person that I used to be. And the frutstrating part about it is that I think Moms, in general, work harder (physically) than others. No, we don't have time to spend hours at the gym (unless a woman's husband supports her when she stays at home and sends the kids with the Nanny, or the like), but we Moms spend nights picking up toys endlessly, picking up children constantly, hauling two year olds or younger in our arms through grocery stores as we maneuver a full cart flawlessly through the aisles, throwing baseballs, chasing children, swinging them around, hauling lunches, backpacks, blankets, diaper bags, etc. all around (sometimes wearing heels, no less). I would think all these daily activities would shape a mom back up, maybe not into the shape of a supermodel, but at least not flabby everywhere. Instead, I fit back into most clothes, but not in the way I'd like. Plus, going shopping sucks, especially for jeans and swimsuits.

Almost two years ago I decided I needed some new jeans, so I went to Gap (where I always went before having kids) and I tried on my size - no luck and depressingly so. My thighs were too big for the legs and my waist was too small, still flabby, but too small to match the size of my thighs. Sadly, I couldn't suck in my thighs so I was stuck. I tried on a bigger size - no luck. I tried on a different style - that was worse. I pinched, and squeezed, and kicked off every pair of jeans in frustration. I got in my car, slammed the door and drove across the parking lot to Talbots where I promptley found a stretchy pair of jeans that fit over my unruly thighs, hips, and bottom. I walked out to the cashier, paid for the unsexy new jeans, and showed up at home in my Mom Brand Jeans, where I then confessed that I had lost all hope and that I intended to just eat whatever I wanted from then on since there was clearly no point in diet or exercise. Today, I loathe my Mom Brand Jeans from Talbots. I must reclaim myself - after I pop out George, of course.

The greatest thing about maternity clothes, is that everything stretches everywhere. God bless spandex and polyester. Until I get the go ahead from the Doctor after I give birth, I'm enjoying the fact that there are no panty hose cutting into my flabby tummy, no taut seams on my pants, and no reason to suck in.

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