It's ba-ack . . .

That's right, the SWINE FLU is back in full force and I had no idea!

I took Evie into the doctor for her 4-year check up and yucky shots yesterday. She was a real trooper through peeing in a cup, her eye test and hearing test, getting her finger pricked for blood test, and even through getting the nasal spray for her flu vaccination. Unfortunately, the four massive shots she received in her tiny legs did not go well, but I can't really blame her for crying - that shit HURTS. For all you moms out there, I have to tell you that the four-year old shots are the worst - hands down. Evie did really well and we got her some M&M's and ice cream afterward so she is pretty much fully recovered. Still, there is nothing like the look of betrayal she gave me when I held her down as they administered her four shots. It really made me sad and made me feel like I lost some of her trust.

Anyway, the real point of this story is that our fabulous Dr. M came into the examination room at 2:30 p.m. and he looked pooped. Then he said, "I'm pooped. We've been slammed." Me, "Why? What's going on?" Dr. M said, "It's the swine flu. We're basically just treating the flu all day long." Me, "Really? I didn't realize it was bad." Dr. M, "I have already diagnosed 10 cases today and two more since lunch." Me, "Oh my gosh!" I quickly started looking around for the disinfectant. Then I said, "I had no idea!" Dr. M said, "Yes, this is a big deal. You might dismiss it when you see it on the news, but it is really a big deal."

So, I had no freakin' idea that the swine flu had reemerged with such force. I really have been living in a cave for the past month, but really, I thought I would have heard about the swine flu pandemic after all the hype and scare that resulted in the spring. I e-mailed Chuck right away and conveyed the message. Evie and I tried to stay away from everyone in the office and I semi-jokingly told Evie to hold her breath whenever we walked through the waiting room.

As we were awaiting her hearing test and blood test, we sat near the back of the office by ourselves next to the nurses' station where they take calls from people wanting to schedule appointments for their sick kids. I overheard a nurse state the following to a parent on the phone, "Can you control the fever with Tylenol?" PAUSE "Well, our office is just full of the flu, so if you can avoid coming in here and just treat the the fever the best you can at home, you'll be better off. If you come here and you don't already have the flu, then you're going to leave with it." My jaw dropped open and I started choking. Why the hell was I in that office? I had to figure out how to undo the damage that was probably already done. Everywhere we went in the office, I insisted that Evie use the disinfectant, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to come down with the flu in the next week. This SUCKS! I can't believe I hauled my healthy daughter into the den of swine flu so that we could catch it and pass it on to the rest of our healthy family.

Last night, the news confirmed that the swine flu has invaded our lives once again and there were special segments about the spread of the swine flu and swine flu prevention. Then this morning I received a message that my poor secretary has been diagnosed with the swine flu. That's right kids, the swine flu is back. There's no avoiding it and we don't even have enough vaccines to go around. So hold onto your hat, everyone. The swine flu is coming to get you and me.

On the bright side, Dr. M said that the swine flu is basically just high fever, head ache, chills, sore throat, and general achiness, but NO vomiting, nausea, or diarrhea. I personally think that is fabulous news.

So, now that you've finished reading this post, go locate some hand sanitizer and a mask and do your best to avoid the swine flu. As one of my readers once commented, "That's some pig!"