Agonizing

I'm awake and can't sleep because I'm agonizing over our nanny v. au pair situation. We made an offer to the nanny tonight after she spent an evening babysitting. She liked the kids and thought they were really "easy" - her term, not mine. We have 24 hours to make an offer to the au pair that we really, really like before we lose her, so I had to basically tell the nanny, that even though we love her and want her to be our nanny, we need a decision within 24 hours so that we don't lose the other candidate in case the nanny turns us down. I feel terrible, because (1) the nanny has only known us a little over 24 hours, (2) she's having to make a huge life decision, and (3) I'm only giving her 24 hours. Luckily, Chuck chimed in and told her not to feel like she had to make a decision right away and told her that it would be fine if she could let us know by Friday. Hopefully, the tension didn't show in my face, but seriously, I'm worried. Here, we have two fantastic candidates for helping raise our children, and if the first one turns us down on Friday and I've lost my chance with the au pair, then I've essentially lost two fantastic candidates. Ugh. I hate this.

As for Evie and Luke, they were thrilled to see the nanny here tonight. They ran to the door to greet her and Luke forced two Hot Wheels in her hand and said, "Come on, let's go play Hot Wheels." I hadn't even had a chance to show her around the house to see where her room would be. She got done seeing the house, and proceeded to play Hot Wheels with Luke and Evie while holding George (who, I might add, is 1/3 her size already - she's tiny!). She's obviously more accomplished at this than me, because I can only do one thing at a time with the kids.

I really have no idea whether she's excited or not. We, on the other hand, can barely contain our excitement at having her (or even the au pair) watch our children. She's great, and the kids clearly love her. I hope we'll know soon. I guess I need to put it in God's hands, but it's difficult when it is such a big decision that will affect my family's life.